


Discoveries

by lifeandliesofanerd



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Asshole Nick Grimshaw, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Break Up, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Daddy Louis, Depressed Harry, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Harry Has a Daddy Kink, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Exploration, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Riding, Rimming, Sad Harry, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, So is Liam, Therapy, Top Louis, also Niall is straight af, but like a little bit, idk yet, im not a monster, niall is most of the time, not really - Freeform, side Ziam, so far anyway, the cheating isn't between h/l, zayn is a good friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 01:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeandliesofanerd/pseuds/lifeandliesofanerd
Summary: Harry and Nick have been together for four wonderful years. After four wonderful years, Harry catches him doing something he shouldn't, and ends the relationship over it. Harry makes mistakes on his path of discovery, but soon meets a boy. That boy's name is Louis Tomlinson.





	1. The First Discovery

The morning of the day that everything changed, Harry woke in a good mood. It was Saturday, so there was no need to go in to work, and his bum was pleasantly sore from the previous night’s bedroom adventures with his long-term boyfriend, Nick Grimshaw. He snuggled into the warm comforter, searching for Nick’s warmth, only to find the other side of the bed empty. Harry sat up slowly, confused. Nick didn’t have work to do today, so where would he be? His side of the bed was cold, as if he had been gone for a while.

Harry picked up his mobile to check the time. It was only 8 AM, and Nick never left bed until after 10 on the weekends. Especially without telling Harry in advance. The tall boy rose from the bed, naked and concerned. He pulled on a pair of joggers and one of Nick’s old shirts from university, and trotted out of their bedroom. The flat was silent, no sign of Nick still being there, or having been there all morning. There was no dirty mug in the kitchen sink from his morning tea, nor was there any note for Harry with an explanation of where he went.

To say the least, Harry’s good mood was now gone, replaced with worry and concern over his boyfriend of four wonderful years. Mostly wonderful, anyway.

After thoroughly searching the flat they had rented together for three of their four years together, Harry picked up his phone off the kitchen counter and dialled Nick. It only rang twice before going to voicemail, which meant that Nick either rejected his call, which he would never do, or his phone was off. Harry had no idea why his phone would be turned off, and it only worried him further.

He decided that he would set his mind on cleaning up the flat until Nick came home.

***

Hours later, the flat was nearly spotless, and there was still no sign of Nick. No phone call, no text, nothing. It was almost four o’clock in the afternoon, and Harry was quickly running out of chores to distract himself with As he realized that he was out of rooms to clean, he decided that he should make a grocery run so he could make dinner for when Nick got home. He grabbed his keys and threw on a coat before he reached for his phone. Harry contemplated whether or not he should bring it with him, as it had only been causing him anxiety all day as he waited for some sign from his boyfriend. He decided to abandon his mobile on the table until he returned from the store.

Walking out into the fresh air felt like being splashed in the face with freedom after being trapped in the large flat for so long. He looked at his Range Rover momentarily before deciding to walk to the store, as it wasn’t far, and he wasn’t planning on buying much. Harry strode down the street leisurely, trying to enjoy the nice weather, as it wasn’t often this lovely in London, but he was having trouble convincing himself to be cheerful. After several minutes of trying to cheer up, he gave up and allowed himself to stew in his misery as he walked to the store.

So he moped his way to the store, he moped as he found all he needed to make dinner for himself and Nick _(If he ever decides to grace me with his presence again,_ Harry thought bitterly), and he moped as he began to make his way back to the flat, arms full of groceries.

Once again, he meandered slowly down the street, observing his surroundings quietly. As his eyes wandered over one apartment building, his eyes stopped, and so did his feet. A familiar back was pressed against the window of a flat on the second storey. A few items that he held in his arms fell to the ground as he watch another hand, an unfamiliar one press against the window beside the back that he knew so well. Nick’s fluffy hair bounced as a person Harry didn’t recognize pressed their naked body into his own boyfriend’s.

Harry snapped out of his tortured staring and scrambled to pick up his fallen groceries. He took one last desperate glance at the window before he swiftly walked home to the flat he shared with the man he loved for four years. The man he just found being fucked against a window two blocks from their home. The man that Harry would be forced to confront about it as soon as he came back to him.

***

Harry had dinner on the table and was waiting angrily in his chair, an untouched portion of lasagna on a plate in front of him. Time seemed to move painstakingly slowly as he waited for Nick. He had spent so much time on the lasagna, hoping that by the time he finished, Nick would be walking through the door. Unfortunately for Harry, he was left sitting at the table for several more hours, until the meal was cold, before he heard from Nick.

_Hey babe! Sorry I didn’t wake you this morning, you just looked too cute! I’ve been at the office all day, and my phone managed to die on the way here. Just got it charged up so I could text you. I’m staying over at a friend’s tonight because I got out so late, so don’t wait up! Love you!_

It was eleven PM and Nick was telling him not to wait up. Not to mention the fact that he just blatantly lied to Harry. He couldn’t help but wonder just how long Nick had been lying to him without his knowledge.

 _Fuck him,_ Harry thought.

“Fuck him,” Harry said aloud, speaking for the first time that day.

And with that, he went to bed fully clothed, cold lasagna still left on the table, and fresh tears in his eyes.

***

The morning after the day that changed everything, Harry woke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. For a moment, he felt better than ever, smiling because Nick was making him breakfast. Until he remembered the previous day, and all that had occurred, and his grin slipped from his face. He rose from the bed slowly, realizing he had slept in his jeans and grimacing at the feeling. He peeled them off and replaced them with sweats before checking his face in the mirror. He looked like hell, with tear tracks along his cheeks, and his eyes a duller green than usual. His long hair was all over the place, so he pulled it back into a messy bun before walking to the bathroom to wash the tears off his face.

He showered and dressed, attempting to look somewhat decent for the confrontation he would have soon. As he walked into the kitchen area of the flat he had lived in with Nick for three years, he felt his confidence begin to fall away. He watched the man he loved more than life itself flip a pancake, and a tear fell down his face. Nick hadn’t noticed him yet, so Harry stood in the middle of the doorway, crying silently as he gazed at the man. A sniffle escaped him and Nick glanced up, alarmed.

“What’s the matter, baby? I’m home, it’s alright,” he whispered, walking over to take Harry into his arms.

Harry pushed him away. “No, it’s not alright,” he muttered, trying to regain control over himself. “I want you to tell me where you were yesterday.”

Nick looked at him, confused. “Baby, didn’t you get my text? I was at the office-”

“No, I want you to tell me where you really were, Nick.” Harry rarely called his boyfriend by his real name, preferring pet names, so the boyfriend in question became more worried.

“What’s wrong, baby? I swear, I was at the office. Why are you crying?”

“I’m crying because you’re lying to me. And I don’t know how long you’ve been lying to me, but I know you are.” Harry took a deep, calming breath before continuing. “You were gone before eight yesterday, Nick. I was worried by that alone, and then you wouldn’t answer my calls-”

“My phone was dead, I told you-” Nick tried to interrupt, but Harry continued his rant.

“-so I was scared, and then I was angry, and then I decided to go to the grocery store so I could make dinner for if you ever came home.”

“Of course I came home, baby, I love-”

“Shut up, and listen to me!” Nick stared at him, wide-eyed. Harry never yelled at him, no matter what he did. Harry was always so gentle and kind. “I decided to go to the grocery store, and on my way back home, do you know what I saw?” Nick looked uneasy at this point. He shook his head no. “I saw your bare ass being pressed against the window of some random guy’s flat. You know how that made me feel, Nick?”

Nick seemed ill. “Baby, please let me explain-”

“No!” Harry shouted. “You don’t get to explain yourself on this one. I get to be angry, and you get to shut up. Do you know how that made me feel?” Nick only stared, looking as though he may vomit or cry at any moment. “It made me feel like the person I loved the most in the world had never loved me at all. It made me feel like the person I loved the most betrayed me in the worst way he possibly could.”

“Loved?” Nick croaked.

“Yes, loved. Because I could never love someone who betrayed me in that way. Not if I was aware of it. And I am,” Harry stated, his confidence completely returned.

Nick rushed to the kitchen sink and retched into it, sobbing as the smell of burning pancakes filled the room. Harry returned to the bedroom that they shared for so long and pulled his duffel bag off the top shelf of their closet. As he was throwing random clothing items into the bag, Nick came rushing into the room. He stopped in the doorway when he saw the open bag on the bed. His eyes widened and he looked to Harry, who was pulling shirts off coat hangers in the closet.

“Baby, no, please! I’ll do anything, I’m so sorry!” he cried, desperate.

Harry gritted his teeth and continued getting his things together. Nick hurried over to him and clinged to his arm.

“Harry, please don’t leave me. I can explain, and I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you, I love you so much.” Harry stopped and glared.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have cheated on me, asshole. Get off me.” He shoved his now ex-boyfriend away from him and grabbed a few more clothing items before tossing them in his bag and zipping it up. Nick could only stare with tears in his eyes as Harry threw his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll send Niall or someone to get the rest of my stuff. Delete my number.”

With his head held high and tears streaming down his face, Harry walked out of what used to be their flat for the last time. 


	2. Moving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Niall heard pounding on his flat’s door, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Zayn and Liam were both busy, and he hadn’t heard from Harry or Nick in ages. He assumed they were fucking since it was the weekend, but you never know with those two.

Niall had known Harry since before he even met Nick, in university. About five years ago, Niall shared a class with the curly-haired boy, and they had become fast friends. A year later, Harry was gazing at Nick as if he had hung the moon and stars, and the two quickly fell in love. Niall wasn’t Nick’s biggest fan in the beginning, because he seemed like a bit of an asshole. He managed to grow on him a bit in the four years since, but mostly Niall just tolerated him for Harry’s sake. The kid was hopelessly in love with the douchebag, and Niall felt the need to support his best friend, despite his poor taste in men. After a while, Harry stopped hanging out so much with Niall, as well as Liam and Zayn. He was always with Nick. Not that Niall blamed him… Well, maybe he did a bit. But more Nick than Harry.

Back to the issue at hand, Niall was not expecting anyone, yet there was someone pounding relentlessly on his front door. The Irish boy hopped out of his chair and pranced over to the door. When he pulled it open, he was surprised to find a sopping wet Harry Styles standing on his doorstep, a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

“Uhh… going somewhere, Haz?” Harry sniffled and hung his head, a few tears falling from his eyes. Niall’s eyes widened. He had never seen Harry like this before. “I’ll take that as a no. Come in, babe.” He escorted his friend inside, pulling his bag from his shoulder. “Let’s get you some dry clothes, sound good?” The boy nodded slowly, hunched in on himself. It was incredible to Niall that such a tall person could appear so small. He pulled a dry outfit for Harry out of the duffel bag, handing it to Harry. The younger boy stripped off his clothes right there while Niall went to make him a cup of tea. When the Irish boy returned, Harry was curled up in the corner of the couch. He handed him the cup of tea and wrapped his arms around the boy. Harry cuddled into the embrace with a sniff. “Now, what’s the matter?”

The curly-haired boy broke into sobs at the question. Niall could only hold him tighter as he tried to regain control of himself.

“N- Nick… He-” He could hardly speak through his tears.

“What did that bastard do? I’ll fucking kill that asshole,” Niall threatened at the sound of the man’s name.

Harry swallowed. “He cheated on me.” Niall’s breathing caught. He wasn’t expecting that. As much as he didn’t like Nick, he never thought he would cheat on Harry. He wasn’t about to say that to Harry though.

“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry. You can stay here with me, alright? Do you need anything else?”

“Maybe just cuddles? Oh, and I’ll need you to pick up my stuff from the flat at some point. Please? I don’t want to see _him._ ” Niall simply nodded in agreement and pulled his sad best friend closer to him. He cried until dark fell, and the two fell asleep.

***

The next day, Niall awoke with his best friend wrapped around him on the couch. His long, brown curls were in the Irish lad’s mouth, an unpleasant feeling if you ask Niall. He gently detached Harry from his side and gazed down at the sleeping boy. He felt awful for him. Niall had never seen Harry so upset, not from anything. Seeing his best friend so heartbroken made him want to do bad things. Illegal things. To Nick. Instead of doing said illegal things, he decided to make breakfast for himself and Harry.

Niall was flipping a pancake when he heard a sob from the next room. He set the spatula down and rushed to see what was wrong. He found Harry sitting up, his face in his hands. “What’s wrong, Harry?”

“I- I- I-... _He_ was making pancakes yesterday when I confronted him,” he sobbed.

“Oh, Hazza, I’m sorry. I’ll scrap the pancakes and make something else, okay?” Niall offered. To his surprise, Harry shook his head.

“No, I need to be able to eat pancakes. I like pancakes, and a stupid cheater will not change that,” he said defiantly. Niall laughed at that and walked back to the kitchen to make sure his pancake didn’t burn. Harry followed him like a lost puppy, not sure what to do with himself. As Niall cooked, Harry looked uncomfortable, perched on one of the breakfast bar stools.

“So, uh… Where’s Liam?” Niall looked over at that.

“Um, Haz, Liam moved in with Zayn about four months ago. I told you, remember?” Harry held a shocked expression on his face.

“No, you didn’t tell me that. Why did he move in with Zayn?” Niall sighed as he put a pancake on a plate and passed it to Harry.

“Harry, Liam and Zayn have been dating for like eight months. And I did tell you. Please tell me you knew that.” Harry’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth.

“What the fuck? How did I not know that? Liam and Zayn are two of my best friends!”

“I don’t know, Harry. Maybe it’s because every time we’ve seen you for the past couple years all you could focus on was Nick,” Niall snapped. He regretted it when he saw the look on Harry’s face. The boy looked devastated as he curled in on himself, pushing away the hardly touched pancake and walking to the toilet. “Shit, Harry, I’m sorry.” Niall rushed to stop him, grabbing his wrist. “I didn’t mean that. Well… I did mean it, but I didn’t mean for it to hurt your feelings. Come back and sit down.” Harry nodded and followed Niall back into the kitchen, returning to his pancake quietly. “I’m sorry, Harry. You know I love you, but you were pretty consumed with Nick for a long time. And you didn’t know Zayn and Liam were dating, or that Li moved out, and I just… You should have known that stuff.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered. “I know now. And I won’t be distracted from you guys anymore.” The boy cringed at the reason behind his words. Niall turns off the burner and sits next to his best friend.

“Look, Harry. You’re still my best friend, and nothing’s gonna change that. I’m here for you, and what happened in the past doesn’t matter anymore. Now, do you want me to go get your stuff? We can get you moved in by tomorrow if you want.” Harry nodded gratefully.

“Thanks, Ni. Love you.”

“I love you too, you wanker. Now finish your pancakes and do the dishes. I’m off,” Niall said cheerfully. Harry let a small smile grace his face. Niall grinned at him as he went to get dressed.

***

Niall pulled up in front of his best friend’s old flat. He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair, turned the car off and climbed out. He took the key Harry gave him to return out and went inside. When he reached the last door between him and the man that broke Harry’s heart, he stopped. Should he knock, or should he barge in? With what he had done, Nick didn’t deserve the courtesy of knocking, but Niall also didn’t want to see the same act Harry had seen that had started this mess. He decided to knock.

When the door opened, a disheveled Nick Grimshaw stood behind it. He looked hopeful at first, but when he recognized Niall, his face turned mournful.

“He really means it, doesn’t he?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, he really does. And you deserve it. Let me get his stuff,” Niall said brashly.

“Is he okay?” Nick begged, not moving from the doorway.

“No.” If it was possible, Nick’s face fell further.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, to someone other than Niall.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. Not that it would do any good to apologize to him. You two are still over. Get out of the way.” Niall pushed past the distressed man, moving swiftly around the flat to find Harry’s belongings. Nick was stood exactly where Niall left him when the Irish boy walked through the door with an armful of items. “I’ll be back for more in a moment, just leave the door open.”

After several trips with many boxes and bags full of Harry’s things, Niall was carrying one final bag through the flat, searching for anything he might have missed. Nick had hardly moved a muscle in the two hours Niall had been cleaning the flat of any trace of Harry. When Niall was satisfied that he had everything, he approached Nick by the door.

“I always knew you were an asshole. I’m just glad Harry found out when he did, instead of fucking marrying you or something. You deserve every ounce of pain you feel from this, and I hope you suffer. Harry, on the other hand, will be fine. I’ll be making sure of that. Now, if I’ve missed anything, mail it to me. You still have my address, I assume? I’ll make sure Harry gets it.” Nick stared at him with a crushed look on his face. Niall offered a smug smirk and walked out the door with a final, “fuck you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment and kudos to let me know what you think! And thank you to those who did on the last chapter! All the love x N


	3. Good Pubs, Great Friends, and Boring Jobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload because I honestly can't wait any longer to give you guys another chapter! Enjoy!

It’s been three weeks since the breakup, and Harry was starting to feel like himself again. The old Harry. Pre-Nick Harry. The better Harry. He had been living with Niall, and he didn’t realize just how much he missed the Irish boy until he was surrounded by him. They hadn’t been together so much since uni, and even then they never lived together. Simply being around the cheerful lad made Harry feel better. When he was around Niall, he didn’t miss Nick so much. Well, he really didn’t miss Nick. He missed what he thought he had with Nick. But now he knew that they didn’t have anything. 

“Hazza?” Harry looked up from his book. He was currently curled up on the couch in the flat he now shared with Niall. “Want to go out for drinks with the lads? They miss you.”  He considered it for a moment. Eventually, Harry smiled up at his friend and nodded. Niall cheered and ushered him into his room to get dressed. Harry hadn’t seen Zayn and Liam in months. Before the breakup, he had been so wrapped up in his own little world that he hadn’t wanted to leave. After the breakup, he had been too depressed to go out, despite Niall’s kind offers every Friday night to join him and the lads. All he had been able to do was cry and work for the first two weeks.

When Harry emerged from his bedroom, freshly showered and dressed in his tightest black skinny jeans and a patterned, button-down shirt (only halfway buttoned, of course), he found Niall chattering excitedly on the phone. He heard his own name several times, and assumed that he was talking to Liam or Zayn, informing them that he would be coming along tonight. Harry approached the area near the door where all of the two flatmates’ shoes were stored and pulled out a pair of dark brown chelsea boots. As he was yanking on the boots, Niall came over and sat down next to him to pull on a pair of pink Vans. Harry raised an eyebrow at the choice of shoe, but chose not to question it. 

“So we’re meeting the lads at a pub in town. It’s called ‘Molly’s.’ Zayn said a friend of his works there, told him about it.” Harry nodded and stood up. 

“Sounds good. I want to get pissed.” Niall cackled loudly as the two walked out the door of their flat.

***

When Harry walked into Molly’s pub, he was overwhelmed with nostalgia. The bar looked exactly like one that he and the lads had frequented in university, spending many Friday and Saturday nights (and many nights in between) surrounding a tall table, pints in hand as they laughed away their trivial problems. 

“Whoa,” Niall muttered. “This looks exactly like Ed’s old pub.” Harry nodded in awe. “Oh, there’s Li and Zayn.” He waved somewhere in front of them, and suddenly Harry was being dragged by the elbow in the same direction. Before he could regain conscious thought after his visit to the past, he was being pulled down into a fierce hug. 

“Uh, hey Liam,” Harry said into a muscled shoulder.

“I missed you, Harry,” the brown-haired boy sniffled into his own curly hair. 

“I missed you too, Li,” he responded, snuggling into the embrace. He really had missed Liam. His comforting presence was a blessing, and he couldn’t believe he had been able to go without truly being with him for so long.

“Alright, babe, let me give ‘im a hug too,” a Bradford accent chimed after another minute of Liam’s tight grip on Harry. Liam allowed Harry to be pulled away from him and into the arms of his boyfriend. 

“Hey Haz,” Zayn whispered into his friend’s ear. Harry loved Zayn. He had known the boy for less time than either of the other boys, but the two got along incredibly well. Zayn gave such great advice, and Harry had missed him so much while he was wrapped up in Nick. 

“Missed you,” Harry muttered back.

“Missed you too.” Zayn pulled away from the hug and guided Harry to the table the couple had claimed for the group. 

When they were all seated with pints in front of them, Liam spoke up. “I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever, Haz. I mean, we saw you, but you weren’t really  _ you.  _ You know what I mean?” Zayn and Niall are both nodding to themselves, and Harry thinks he does know what he means. 

“Um, yeah. I think so. I got so surrounded by… um…  _ him  _ that he was all I could see. He was kind of all I was for a while. I think that I kind of lost myself somewhere in the relationship.” All three boys were agreeing with him, which made him feel worse about the situation. “I’m really sorry, lads. I should’ve realized-”

“No, don’t apologize,” Niall cut in. “Enough apologizing from you. Beer. Beer is good. Drink beer.”

Harry laughed for the first time in three weeks, and after he started, he couldn’t seem to stop. 

***

As time passed, Harry started to heal. It was a slow process, and he wasn’t sure that he would ever be fully better. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to trust someone like he had trusted Nick. But he moved on nevertheless. After a while, people at the boring office he worked at stopped giving him worried looks, and asking him if he was okay. He assumed that meant that he didn’t look quite so dreadful anymore. He eventually began walking into work with a smile on his face, despite the boring day ahead of him, because he was better. Nick couldn’t drag him down anymore. He went to Molly’s pub every Friday with the lads, and each week felt more like it used to, back before anything happened with Nick. Like it was supposed to feel. 

“Does anyone named Molly actually work here?” Niall joked as they sat together at their favorite table. “I have never heard of anyone named Molly in the three months we’ve been coming here.”

“I don’t know, mate. You could ask my friend, Louis, that works here. Though, come to think of it, I’ve never actually seen him working here,” Zayn answered. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Maybe he doesn’t work Fridays?” he suggested. 

Liam shook his head. “That doesn’t seem very productive. Fridays are good tip nights.” All three other men gave him confused glances. Liam blushed. “What? I used to work some bartending shifts in uni before I met you guys.” Zayn cooed at him and pecked his cheek adoringly. 

While the other two were distracted, Niall turned to Harry. “How are you feeling, mate? I mean, you seem fine, but I want to hear it from you.”

“I think I’m good, Ni,” Harry grinned at him. “I kind of feel better than I have since that year before I met Nick. I mean, my job still sucks, and I hate my boss, but it’s easier now that I don’t have to worry about pleasing both him _and_ Nick. I didn’t really understand how unhealthy our relationship was until I got out of it.” It was the first time Harry had said Nick’s name aloud since the day they broke up. Niall was proud of him. It was all he could do to give his best friend a pat on the back and a massive smile. 

Harry had been thinking over the past few months. He meant what he said about his relationship with Nick being unhealthy. Pleasing Nick was all Harry ever thought about for four years. All he did was give and give while Nick took and took without returning anything. Harry would come home early from work, or school back in uni, even when he had a big project due soon, just because Nick asked him to. But if Harry asked Nick to come home early, Nick was “too busy” to give him some of his time. The one and only time Harry had tried to visit him at his office, Nick had ushered him away without as much as a greeting kiss, telling him he had work to do. Harry only wondered now if the so-called “work” he had to do was another man. He pushed away that thought and returned to his lads’ night with his three best friends. 

***

“I want to quit my job,” Harry stated.

Niall looked up at him, pausing the video game on the screen. “Uh… why?” 

“I want to start over. It’s been almost six months since Nick and I broke up, but I still feel like I’m doing the exact same things. Not to mention, my job is the most monotonous job on the planet.” Harry had been working as a secretary for a law firm in London for almost three years. Ever since they graduated from university. He always hated it. 

“Well, Haz, at least find a new job before you quit this one, okay? I don’t want to have to pay your half of the rent.”

“So you think it’s okay that I quit?” Harry asked excitedly. 

“If it’ll make you happy, then I think it’s great. What do you want to do instead?” Harry’s wide smile dropped. 

“Um… I’m not sure,” he stuttered. 

“You might want to get that sorted at least before you jump the gun on quitting,” Niall chuckled and returned to his game of FIFA. Harry nodded and retreated into his corner of their couch as he mulled over Niall’s words.

Two hours later, Harry was in the midst of cooking dinner for himself and his best friend/flatmate. He dropped his spatula into the pan suddenly and shouted, “Niall!” The boy in question came running into the room, a panicked look on his face.

“What happened? Is there a fire? Are you hurt?” 

Harry laughed. “I’m fine, and no there’s not a fire. I think I figured out what I want to do.” Niall’s face melted into relaxation.

“You worried me there for a second. What did you figure out?” 

“Well, I was just cooking, and it hit me. Do you remember how I told you that I used to work in a bakery, when I lived in Holmes Chapel?” Niall nodded, vaguely recalling the fact. “I always loved it there, so I was thinking, maybe I should try to open a cafe or something? With like, baked goods, and coffee, and tea,” Harry rambled excitedly. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Haz. How are you going to open a cafe? Do you know how to run one? Can you even afford to start a business?” As much as Niall loved Harry, a reality check was in order. Harry’s face fell. 

“Oh. Yeah. I guess I didn’t get that far yet,” he mumbled.

“I figured. Think it over. If you decide that you can do it, I’ll support you. But I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into before you start,” Niall said. Harry was so thankful for Niall. He grinned at his best friend. 

“You’re the best, Ni,” he declared. 

“I know. Now finish making me dinner, I’m starved.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, once again, a big thank you to those who commented, left kudos, etc. And thank you all for reading! Please continue letting me know what you think! I appreciate it greatly! All the love x N


	4. In Too Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

Harry was bored. To say the least. Currently, Harry had his face pressed into the dark wood of his desk at the firm. No one had called, emailed, or come in to the office, and he had been there for hours. 

Harry looked up at the clock on his computer, which informed him that he had not, in fact, been there for hours, but approximately twelve minutes. He groaned and slammed his head back down onto the desk. Being at the office was the worst part of his day, of his week, of his month, of his life. Every time he walked in the building, he swore he was entering into a time vortex, where time moved a thousand times slower than it did in the outside world. 

Harry had decided to stay at his job. After his conversation with Niall, he had realized that, no matter how bored he was, he needed the money, and he could save up to possibly start the cafe he wanted. And in the meantime, he could learn how to run a cafe.

Some time later, after Harry had casually contemplated on multiple occasions whether or not jumping off the roof would get him out of the office faster, his boss approached his desk. Harry was responding to one of hundreds of emails when his boss knocked on the wall beside his desk to catch his attention. Now, Harry was perfectly aware that his boss had always had a bit of a thing for him, but Harry had always had Nick, and never payed him much mind.

“Hello, Harry,” Shane greeted, a charming smile on his handsome face. Harry glanced over at him with a polite smile, nodding before returning to his email. Shane didn’t let this light dismissal throw him off, and continued to speak to his employee. “How are you? I noticed you were upset for a while a few months ago. Do you want to talk about what happened?” Harry paused in his typing, a bit uncomfortable. His boss really shouldn’t be asking him about this. Unfortunately, Shane  _ was _ his boss, and he couldn’t exactly dismiss the question.

“Um, I’m fine sir. My boyfriend and I broke up about six months ago. I would rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind. I’m much better now,” Harry replied, praying silently that Shane would leave him alone without questioning it. Or worse. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Harry.” He didn’t look sorry. “Would you like to go to dinner with me to make you feel better?” That is exactly what Harry was hoping he wouldn’t ask. This puts the curly-haired boy in a difficult situation. Shane was his boss, and he couldn’t afford to get fired. Harry did not like Shane. Not romantically, nor very much as a person either. But, a boy’s got to do what a boy’s got to do to get the cafe of his dreams.   
“Sure, I’d like that, Sir.” Harry cringed internally at his blatant lie. 

“Great, I’ll pick you up at seven. Email me with your phone number and address, and I’ll speak to you later.” With that, Shane returned to his office, a smug smile on his face.

***

“You agreed to go on a date with your boss?” Niall looked amused, but worried. “The one you’ve been actively complaining about for months?”

“It’s not technically a date,” Harry tried. “He just offered to take me out to make me feel better. And it’s not like I want to.”

Niall groaned. “Harry, if you didn’t want to go out with him, why the fuck did you agree to?”

“Niall, you know I can’t lose this job. I’m trying to save for the cafe, and I can’t do that without a job,” Harry pleaded. 

“Haz, you know that you legally can’t be fired because you didn’t go out with your boss, right?” 

“You don’t know Shane like I do. I’ve worked with him for a long time. He’s a lawyer, and he does what he wants. If I didn’t agree, he would have found a way to get me fired. Trust me.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Just don’t get too deep into this,” Niall sighed.

***

Harry went too deep. 

A month after their first dinner together, Shane was still coming up to Harry’s desk every other day to ask him on another date. Before long, Harry realized that Shane thought that they were a “thing,” and there was nothing he could do about it. Every time he saw Shane in the office, he cringed and did his very best to hide, but could rarely avoid him. His oblivious boss always found him, and begged him for another night out. Harry, of course, was forced to agree with a smile, but banged his head on his desk every time as Shane walked away.

Harry had only managed to wriggle out of a few of the numerous dates he had been dragged on, telling the man that “something came up,” and he “can’t make it.” Shane was relentless with his questioning Harry of course, but only when it was something that interested him. Most of the time on their dates, the two sat across from each other at a booth, a different restaurant every night, as Shane rambled on and on about the law firm. Harry rarely got a word in, not that he cared all that much. He was getting free food on a near daily basis, so all he could complain about was the man across from him. 

 

Whenever Shane dropped him outside the flat he shared with Niall, Harry rushed to the door before Shane could make an attempt at kissing him, falling on the couch with an irritated sigh. Niall would greet him with a pat on the head and a cup of tea, offering a sad smile before going off to bed. 

Harry hadn’t been on a lads night with Niall, Zayn, and Liam in weeks now, and it was beginning to irritate him. Just as he had returned to a routine with the boys, he was dragged into the situation with his boss. Along with that, Harry could tell that Niall was getting annoyed with him again. While the Irish boy knew that he didn’t want to go out with Shane, he was still saddened to see his best friend taken away from him again, after only just getting him back. Every Friday afternoon, Harry could hear Niall whispering on the phone to Zayn or Liam, telling them that their curly-haired best friend wouldn’t be joining them, yet again. 

One Friday, Harry returned from his date with Shane, having just narrowly avoided a kiss from the man, to find the flat empty. Normally, by the time Harry got home, Niall was curled up on the couch, waiting for him, but this week was different. He decided to not worry too much as he took Niall’s place on the sofa, grabbing the book he had been reading so he could wait up for his friend. 

*** 

When Harry woke the next morning, he found the flat still empty. He was in the same spot that he had chosen to wait for Niall, his book resting open on his lap. He pulled out his phone, only to find it dead, having forgotten to charge it the night before. Plugging it in, he waited impatiently for the device to turn on. When it finally did, Harry frantically dialled his best friend’s number. Someone that was definitely not Niall answered with a groan. 

“Niall’s phone, who’sit?” a high pitched voice rang, clearly annoyed.    
“Um… I’m Harry, Niall’s best friend. Who are you?” Harry was confused, as Niall was very straight.  _ Very  _ straight. There was no way he had hooked up with whoever Harry was speaking with.

“Oh, you’re Harry. Niall’s not exactly happy with you right now. Don't call him again,” the voice sassed. Harry began to respond when he heard a clicking noise and realized the man had hung up on him. 

He pulled his phone away from his ear and stared blankly at it. Niall wasn’t happy with him? He knew that Niall didn’t approve of what was going on with Shane, but Harry didn’t think he was  _ angry  _ with him. And who the fuck was on the phone just now? Harry had never heard that voice in his life, and as far as he knew, he was friends with all of Niall’s friends. The boy buried his face in his hands as he realized that perhaps he was letting a man get in the way of his friendships again. And this time, it was a man that he didn’t even  _ like. _

Harry missed Nick. He knew he did, and he hated himself for it. He told himself every day that he should have forgiven him for the cheating. Nick was worth it, he thought. And so Harry waited out the rest of the day with tears streaming down his face and desperately sad thoughts in his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Who do you think was on the phone? Let me know your thoughts, ask questions! I'll be happy to answer them! Thank you again for everyone who has read, left kudos, commented, etc. I really appreciate any feedback! All the love x N


	5. Bad Kisses and Worse Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away at the amount of support this fic is getting so far! Only four chapters up, and over 500 hits! Thank you all so much for commenting, leaving kudos, etc., and I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is where it starts to get pretty angsty, so I wish you luck.

Harry really wanted his cafe. That was his only excuse for forcing himself to continue going out with Shane. Every time he went on a date with him, he returned to his room and cried his eyes out. He was not in a good place anymore. Just after the breakup, Harry felt better. Now, he was worse than ever.

After two months of dates with his boss, Harry was aware that he could not keep avoiding the inevitable. He had to kiss him. Harry did not want to kiss Shane. Shane was self-centered, and rude, and not Harry’s type at all. But he was also Harry’s boss, and Harry knew the only way that he could keep his paycheck was by continuing the relationship. When he thought about Shane’s lips on his own, he shuddered, and had to actively remind himself to not vomit all over the floor. 

But the time came that he couldn’t avoid it anymore, and when it did, Harry took it even worse than he expected to. Shane was dropping him off at home when he asked Harry to wait in the car for a moment. He climbed out of his overly expensive vehicle and walked around to Harry’s side. He opened the passengers side door and pulled Harry up by the hand. In moments, Harry was pressed up against the side of the tall car with Shane breathing down his neck. 

“I’ve been very patient, baby.” Harry shivered at the hot breath against his collarbone. Shane seemed to take this as encouragement, though it was quite the opposite. “I’ve been nice because I know you’re still sad about your ex, but I think it’s about time I help you get over him, don’t you think?” Harry doesn’t get the chance to respond before Shane’s lips are attacking his own. He wasn’t a  _ terrible _ kisser, but it felt awful to Harry. Nevertheless, Harry allowed the man to lick his way into his mouth, taking the lead. Harry kissed back lightly, only enough to let Shane know that he was okay with the advance. 

He wasn’t okay with it. But it was what he deserved.

This was one of those nights that Harry needed his best friend. Unfortunately, that night, Niall was gone again. He had been gone more and more lately, only returning when Harry was on dates with Shane, and leaving before he returned. The only way Harry knew Niall had been there at all was another dirty plate in the sink.

His boss had kissed him against his car for what felt like ages before finally allowing him to go into his flat, alone. 

When he was finally alone in the dingy flat that he supposedly shared with Niall, he fell to the floor, resting his head against the back of the sofa. He cried as he wished that Nick had never cheated on him. He cried as he wished that even if he had, Harry had never found out about it. Because being with Nick, the man who broke his heart, the man who Harry should never forgive, would be better than the life Harry was living now. He sat there for hours as he cried, silently praying that someone would find him there and comfort him.

No one came.

***

Harry woke the next morning, still alone. Not that he had really expected anything different, but he had held some small bit of hope that Niall would return and hold him close. As sad as Harry was, what made him most sad was that he felt that Niall had abandoned him. After he had promised to always be his best friend, Harry felt as though he hadn’t spoken to him in months. And he really hadn’t. Apart from Niall asking him for his half of the rent, Harry hadn’t had a conversation with his best friend in over a month. The realization sent Harry into a fresh bout of tears, still sprawled across the hardwood floor.

***

Another two months passed in the blink of an eye, and Harry had only fallen deeper into his lonesome depression. After their first kiss, Shane wanted to kiss Harry all the time. On multiple occasions per day, he pulled Harry away from his desk at work and into the bathrooms, his office, a broom closet, and pressed his lips against Harry’s. The first time that Harry felt Shane’s hard cock pressing into his thigh, he felt ill. He had pushed Shane away, excusing himself to the toilet, where he broke down for what felt like the thousandth time that week. 

When Harry regained his composure, he returned to his desk quietly, Shane watching him with questioning eyes through the small window in his office door. Harry ignored him and finished an important email to a client. 

The next time he felt Shane’s cock, it was pressing against his bum as Harry was pressed against the copy machine. 

“You’re so pretty, baby. Want you,” Shane whispered, nipping at Harry’s neck lightly. His teeth felt like they were ripping holes in his heart. Instead of shoving the man away and running for cover like he wanted to, Harry turned around in Shane’s arms and pressed his lips lightly against his shoulder. 

“Want you too,” Harry lied, his lips working their way up his boss’s neck. The man groaned and dragged him away from the copier and into a supply cupboard. In that cupboard, Harry gave Shane a handjob while the other man moaned into his neck. When the man came, he gave Harry a quick kiss on the lips and walked out of the cupboard to clean himself up. He didn’t even ask if Harry wanted anything in return. 

Once again, when Harry got home to an empty flat, he cried. He cried because he missed Nick, and he cried because he knew he would never be loved again. Just like every other time. Only this time, Harry nursed a large bottle of whiskey he had found in a cabinet until he could no longer remember his own name, and eventually fell asleep. 

*** 

Harry was very much not okay. Niall was not aware of this fact, as he was too caught up in being angry with his best friend for his stupid decision to go out with his boss. Most nights, Niall crashed with Zayn’s friend, Niall’s new friend. His name was Louis, and he was nice to Niall. Louis was nice to everyone. And he was funny too. He let Niall rant about Harry, and genuinely listened to what he was saying. Niall had cried into Louis’ shoulder more times than he could count, trying to come up with any sort of idea on how to talk to Harry. And then Louis would make some silly joke, and Niall felt better for a while. Niall thought privately that Louis and Harry might like each other, should they meet.

The Irish boy was avoiding his friend, and he felt guilty about it, but he didn’t know how to approach him. The few times he had seen Harry in the past few months, he was blocked off and emotionless, not even trying to speak to Niall. Louis told him to give it time, and Niall listened to him. Unfortunately for everyone, Louis didn’t know Harry, and couldn’t give the best advice when it came to Niall’s best friend. 

***

The first time Niall saw Liam and Zayn in a few weeks, they asked him about Harry.

“Um… I’m not sure how he is,” Niall said.

Liam laughed. “How could you not know how he is? You live together.” 

Niall cringed. “I… I haven’t exactly been home very often.” Zayn and Liam both looked confused. 

“Why?” Liam asked.

“B- Because all he ever does is go out on dates with his shitty boss! He hates the guy and he keeps going out with him because he thinks he’ll lose his job! I’m sick of listening to him rant about something he can easily get out of,” Niall exclaimed.

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked, perplexed. “Harry’s been going out with his boss? He’s always hated that asshole.” 

“I know,” Niall started. “That’s why I’ve been staying with Louis for the past few months.” Liam’s eyes widened. 

“Niall, you idiot! How do you think Harry is feeling right now? When was the last time you talked to him?” Liam scolded his friend, concerned about Harry. 

“Um… like two months ago? I think?”

Zayn smacked him upside the head. “Here I was thinking that Harry just didn’t want to see us, but you, Niall Horan, have royally fucked up. Go pay the bar tab. We’re going to make sure he’s alright.” Niall groaned and slowly went to do as he was told. Liam and Zayn exchanged worried looks as they thought about their curly-haired friend. Harry had been delicate ever since the break up with Nick, and this couldn’t be good. And as much as they loved Niall, he could be a moron sometimes. 

When Niall returned from taking his sweet time paying their bill, the two other boys rushed him out of Molly’s, hopping in a cab as the Irish boy complained.    
“Come on, he’s fine. I don’t know what you two are so worried about.” The other two ignored him and clasped their hands tightly together. After a twenty minute ride of worried silence on the part of the couple, and irritated complaining from the other, the trio reached Harry’s flat. It was only about 9 o’clock, so Harry should be awake, in theory. 

They climbed out of the cab, Liam tossing the driver his money as the boys walked toward the door. 

“I’m sure he’s out with his boss. I don’t know why you dragged me out here to begin with,” Niall griped. 

Zayn stopped and turned to him, thoroughly irritated with his friend. “Niall, how long has it been since Harry and Nick broke up?” 

“Uh, almost a year?” 

“Right. And how was Harry feeling about that whole situation when he started dating Shane?”

“I thought he was getting better,” the boy said. He didn’t seem to understand where this was going.

“Right again. He was  _ getting _ better. He wasn’t better. And he still probably isn’t. Have you ever been cheated on, Niall?” The boy shook his head. “It sucks. A lot. He’ll probably have trust issues for a long time, and you fucking off from his life definitely isn’t going to help that.” Niall’s confused expression fell away, turning into one of horror. 

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah. Now open the goddamn door so I can make sure my best friend is alive. Clearly, he’s not your best friend anymore, otherwise you would have cared at all.” A tear ran down Niall’s face as he unlocked the door, now frantic in his movement. When he finally got the door open, all three boys rushed inside. They split up to try to find their best friend. Niall ran to check their bedrooms, Liam checked the bathroom, and Zayn searched the living room. When all three returned to the entryway, all denying that they had found Harry, they heard a quiet sniffle from the kitchen. They slowly turned to the door, then looked back at each other. After a moment, Zayn pushed open the door and nearly sobbed at what he saw. 

Harry was lying on the floor, passed out, with an empty whiskey bottle on the floor next to him. 

Niall rushed over to the limp figure on the ground, falling to his knees beside him.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” he sobbed. Harry’s hand twitched toward the bottle, then fell slack once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, is Harry okay? Let me know what you think, as usual! All the love x N


	6. Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Harry woke the next morning to a throbbing headache. He also was surprised to find himself in his own bed, versus the floor, where he had been waking up for the last month or so. The next thing he noticed was noise coming from outside of his bedroom. This worried him, as Niall was rarely home, and when he was, it was mostly just for a few minutes to grab something, hardly making any noise before he quietly slipped out. Harry rose from his bed silently, grabbing a metal pipe that had fallen off of one of his old bed frames before he walked into the hallway. He creeped toward the noise, his head still aching, when he heard voices. Three wonderfully familiar voices. Three voices that he hadn’t heard in months. The pipe fell from his hand, clattering loudly to the floor. The familiar face of Zayn poked out of the kitchen door, smiling softly when he saw Harry with his hand over his mouth, holding back tears. 

“Hey Haz,” the man said quietly. Within an instant, Harry was pulling Zayn through the doorway and into his arms, burying his face in his shoulder. The other two voices stopped when their friend was roughly dragged out of the room, and soon two more heads were peeking out into the hallway. The two smiled sadly at the sight of Harry clinging to Zayn, tears running down his cheeks.

Niall cried silently as he watched his best friend sob into Zayn’s shoulder. He had never felt so awful. He should have been there for Harry. Seeing him on the floor like that last night had scared him. For a moment, he thought that Harry was dead, and that it was all his fault. When Niall saw the man’s chest move, he had never felt more relieved.

A sniffle escaped the Irish boy, which caught the attention of the tall boy who was currently wrapped up in Zayn’s arms. Harry looked up, his eyes rimmed with red as he stared at his best friend. When the two made eye contact, Niall began to sob uncontrollably.

“I’m s-so s-sorry, Harry,” he cried. “I d-didn’t know. If I w-would have known, I-”

Niall cut off as Harry pulled away from the black haired boy and walked over to him. When he reached his blonde friend, he stopped. The curly-haired boy smacked Niall across the face as hard as he could before pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“Don’t you dare do that shit ever again, Horan, understand?” The blonde nodded into Harry’s chest as he continued to sob. Zayn pulled Liam by the wrist over to the pair, and the two wrapped their arms around both boys. They sank to the floor together and cried over every mistake they had made in the past few months. 

***

Niall moved back in with Harry immediately. He still felt terrible for what he had done, and was trying his best to make up for avoiding his best friend for months. When the Irish lad returned to Louis’ flat to pick up his things, the feathery-haired boy said he would be sad to see him go. He claimed to enjoy the company, so Niall promised to hang out soon, and promised to introduce him to some of his other friends before he went on his way.

Harry was sad. Niall hadn’t noticed just how sad Harry was until they were living together again. Whenever Harry went out with Shane, he returned twice as down as when he left. Niall tried to convince him, yet again, to end the relationship. Harry refused. At least he seemed to perk up a bit when he got to cuddle with his blonde best friend before they went to their separate beds. But still, Harry was more depressed than Niall had ever seen. 

***

Harry was glad to have his friends back. He really was. But just having them back wouldn’t change the fact that he was stuck in a horrible relationship with his horrible boss. It was made worse by the fact that Harry had received a pay raise since he gave Shane his first handjob. It only proved his theory that if he were to reject his boss, he would lose his job. 

A week or so after Niall moved back in, Harry was at his desk in the office, praying to whatever deity would listen that Shane would leave him alone. Unfortunately, no one was listening. Just minutes into his shift, Shane was dragging Harry into the toilet and pushing him to his knees. Harry wanted to cry as his boss began unbuttoning his trousers and pulling out his cock. Despite his unwillingness to participate, Harry began gently licking the head off the cock in front of him. When he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend like it was someone else.

Anyone else. 

Shane groaned quietly as he forced his cum down Harry’s throat. He tucked his penis away, patted Harry on the cheek, and left him in the stall, still on his knees.  Not for the first time, Harry was not offered anything in return, apart from the two euro raise he received a few weeks later.

***

After they had been “dating” for about six months, Shane stopped asking him to dinner. Instead, he asked Harry to come to his house. Harry, of course, agreed. He knew what this meant. He was about to get fucked for the first time in a year. At this point, Harry was used to Shane’s indifference to his feelings. He knew that he was about to be used, fucked too rough, and that he would receive another raise for it. It seemed every time they did something new, Harry’s bank account grew a bit more. He felt like shit. He felt like a cheap whore, sleeping with their boss for money. And not even getting a single orgasm out of it.  Maybe, if he got lucky, Shane would be a good fuck. 

Harry doubted it.

He told himself that this was for his cafe. It didn’t help.

Niall had been begging Harry to join them on lads night again, saying that he had someone he wanted Harry to meet, but Harry knew that he couldn’t. Shane always wanted him on Friday nights, especially this one. So Harry refused. And this Friday was no different, except this time he was meeting Shane at his home for the first time. 

When Harry walked out the door that night, Niall could tell something was different. Harry seemed different. Terrified. Like he was walking to his death. But Niall had heard “I’m fine” from Harry enough times since he moved back in to know not to ask. The door slammed behind Harry, and Niall immediately picked up his phone, dialling Zayn. When the Bradford boy answered, Niall skipped a greeting entirely.

“I’m really worried about Harry,” the Irish boy started.

“Yeah, we’re all worried about Harry, Ni,” Zayn answered. 

“No, you don’t understand. You didn’t see him tonight. He looked worse. Like he just learned he was going to die or something,” Niall explained. Zayn was silent. Niall soon heard muffled talking, and realized Zayn was telling Liam what Niall had said. The next person that spoke was Liam.

“Did he tell you where he was going?” 

“He said something about going to Shane’s house. I don’t remember him ever meeting him there,” Niall responded, nervous.

“Fuck,” the Irish boy heard. Zayn swore profusely as he realized what was happening. “That moron. He’s going to sleep with him. That idiot, selling his goddamn soul to his motherfucker of a boss.” Niall was shocked into silence. They all knew that the only person Harry had ever slept with was Nick, and he was very in love with him before that happened. “Niall, did Harry give you the address?”

“No--”

“Fuck.” Zayn paused. “We’re coming over. He’s going to need us more than ever when he gets home.”

Neither of them hung up their phones as Zayn and Liam rushed to Niall and Harry’s flat in worried silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please comment and let me know what you think! I really appreciate all the feedback I have been getting so far, and I would love if you would keep it up! All the love x N


	7. Get Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys get this chapter a little early today, because I have class when I would normally update! Yay! This chapter has a few warnings, so...  
> WARNINGS FOR:  
> Abuse, Anal Sex, and some non-con/rape elements. These aren't too intense, but just in case, you should be aware.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Harry was trying his best to relax as his boss fucked his cock roughly into his hole. It was harder than you may think, as all he could think about was how disgusting he felt. On top of that, Shane hadn’t used enough lube, nor had he done a very good job of opening Harry up before hand. Harry was hurting, not in a good way, but he said nothing. He simply closed his eyes and forced himself to return Shane’s too-rough thrusts. _You deserve this._

“You like that, slut?” Shane asked.

_No,_ Harry thought.   
“Yes, Sir,” he moaned aloud, using the name Shane had forced him to call him. It was easier than he had expected to fake his pleasure for Shane. Mostly because he didn’t really pay attention to Harry. If he payed attention, he would notice that Harry’s cock was entirely limp, and he was holding back tears. But he didn’t. Harry was relieved when Shane finally released into the condom with a loud moan.

“So tight baby,” he grunted as he finished his last rough thrusts. _Obviously,_ Harry thought bitterly, _you only used one finger to stretch me out. And you’re thick._ Harry was slowly becoming immune to Shane’s stupidity. It was a wonder that a moron like him could have such a high up position in the law firm they both worked at. Shane pulled out without warning, taking off the condom and throwing it away. “I expect you gone by the time I get out of the shower. I have work to do,” Shane said as he walked to his en suite.“See you on Monday.”

Harry covered his face for a moment after the door closed behind the man that had just fucked him. He knew he would be covered in bruises within a few hours, and he thought his arse may be bleeding. He would have to check when he got home. After a few minutes, Harry gathered himself and made an attempt at standing up from the bed. A sharp pain went up his spine and he fell to the floor just as the bathroom door swung open.

“I thought I told you to leave,” Shane glowered. Harry whimpered from the floor and tried to stand once again. “Get out.”

“I’m trying,” Harry whispered. He managed to make it to his feet.

“I _said_ , get out.” Harry couldn’t get his legs to move properly, and within a few steps, he was on the floor again. Seconds later there was a harsh hand tangled in his hair, dragging him through the house by his long curls. Harry was screaming as Shane angrily yanked him by the hair to the front door.

“WHEN I SAY GET OUT, YOU GET OUT, WHORE!” With those words, Harry’s boss tossed him onto his front porch.

***

Harry was still laying on Shane’s porch when he awoke the next morning. When he gained enough consciousness to observe some of his surroundings, he noted that his mobile was laying cracked beside him, though he did not reach for it. He couldn’t convince himself to move, pain filling his every pore.  Harry had never been so afraid in his life. While he never wanted to be with Shane, he never believed he would hurt him as badly as he did. He didn't think he would go this far. His head ached where his hair was pulled, and he felt sore everywhere. But the worst was his bum. He was in more pain than he had ever been in his life, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The worst part was that the next time Shane wanted to fuck him, Harry knew he would let him. He deserved it.

The front door swung open to reveal the very man that had injured Harry just the night before. Shane scoffed at the sight of the boy curled up in the fetal position on his doorstep. He kicked Harry painfully in the back to move him out of his way, before continuing to his vehicle.

All Harry could do was remind himself once again that he deserved the pain. He soon passed out from the intensity.

***

Niall, Liam, and Zayn were sat on the couch, terrified. Harry had been gone all night, and wouldn’t answer his phone. They had taken turns sleeping during the night, hopeful that their friend would return. But it was nearly nine in the morning, and there was nothing from Harry. All three of the boys were worrying their lips with their teeth, staring at their phones, desperate for a sign from Harry.

Nothing came until after three. They were all sitting together on the couch, Zayn caressing Liam’s hand lightly as he attempted to calm his boyfriend down. Liam was panicking, worried out of his mind about Harry. They all were. Suddenly, a phone rang. All of them startled and scrambled to pick up their mobiles.

When Niall managed a grip on his, he discovered Harry’s name displayed on the screen.

“Hello? Harry? Are you okay? Where are you? I swear to god, if he did anything to hurt you I’ll fucking murder his ass, you hear me? He’s fucking dead,” Niall shouted into the phone. There was only a quiet rustling in response. “Harry?” Niall heard a soft moan of pain on the other end, and became more frantic.

“N- N- Ni-all…h-help m-me,” Harry managed.

“Oh, god. Harry, listen to me, you need to tell me where you are.” Zayn and Liam were staring at Niall as the Irish boy panicked into the phone. The other two looked as worried as Niall felt.

“Sh-Shane’s house,” Harry croaked.

“Where is Shane’s house, Harry?” Niall had shoes and a jacket on by the time Harry managed to stutter out an address. He grabbed his keys and rushed out the door, Zayn and Liam following in his wake. “Okay, Harry. We’re coming to get you. I’m going to put Zayn on the line, alright? We’ll be there soon, babe.” Niall passed the phone to his friend and focused on driving. Liam navigated their way to a rich neighborhood as Niall broke the speed limit and ran stop signs, desperate to find his wounded friend.

When Liam said they were almost there, Niall stepped on it. The vehicle pulled up in front of a large house, and all three lads were out instantly. They rushed up the path, wondering how they would locate Harry in the large house, when they heard a quiet moan of pain from the right side of the front porch. Niall was horrified when he turned to find his best friend, lying on the ground, motionless. Harry didn’t look like Harry anymore. Harry looked like one gigantic bruise. His normally pale skin was covered in black and blue markings, and his hair was in tatters. There seemed to be a small puddle of blood by Harry’s arse, and the boy was not wearing any clothing.

Shane tossed him out here, naked and injured, his newly cracked mobile resting beside his head. Niall was murderous.

Liam and Zayn rushed over to their unconscious friend, gently lifting him off the ground as Zayn shouted at Niall to open the door of the car. The blonde jumped into action and soon the boys were speeding toward the hospital.

***

When Harry woke up, he felt like he had been hit by a truck. Maybe he had. At this very moment, he honestly couldn’t remember. After a few moments, he realized exactly _why_ he felt like he had been hit by a truck. Shane. Fucking him harshly, pulling his hair, tossing him into the cold, naked and scared.

Shane. His boss. Who he would let do it all over again if it meant Harry could eventually get his cafe.

Harry shook himself fully awake as he realized where he was. The hospital. Contrary to popular opinion, Harry did not hate hospitals. But at this moment in time, he wished he could be anywhere else. As he observed his surroundings, he found a pretty boy he had never seen before sitting in a chair beside his bed, reading a book.

“Who are you?” Harry croaked. The boy startled and looked up at him. _Pretty eyes,_ Harry noticed.

“Um, hi. Niall, Zayn, and Liam went to get some lunch, and I told them I would look after you.” The boy’s voice was vaguely familiar, though Harry couldn’t place it.

“Uh… okay,” Harry mumbled. “Who are you?” he asked again.

“Oh, erm... right. I’m Louis Tomlinson. Pleasure to meet you in person, Harry.” The boy- Louis- grinned at him. The smile was so bright that Harry felt the need to smile back.

And so Harry smiled a real smile for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally met! YAY! Anyway, please let me know what you thought in the comments! I've been loving every single comment I've gotten, and it absolutely makes my day every time I see a new one. I reply to most of them, unless I can't think of anything to say, but I'll usually at least say thank you. And once again, I'm blown away by the amount of support Discoveries is getting. The amount of kudos on this fic has just surpassed my smut "Patience, Princess," which has more than double the amount of hits, so thank you all for that! Thank you all so much for reading. All the love x N


	8. Hospitals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of a lot... there's a lot of jumps, but good luck!

Just a few minutes after Harry woke to find the lovely Louis Tomlinson beside him, he was bombarded with three worried friends. Niall was fussing over whether or not he was hungry, Zayn was gently petting his hair, and Liam was asking if he had seen a nurse since he woke. Harry was a bit overwhelmed.    
“Guys, I think you’re scaring him.” Louis’ voice caused the room to freeze. All three boys backed away from Harry slowly with sheepish grins on their faces, and Harry offered the short boy a grateful smile. 

After a while, a doctor came into the room and ushered all four of Harry’s guests into the hallway, claiming he needed to speak to his patient. 

“Hello Harry. My name is Doctor Peters. Could you explain to me what happened to you?” Harry’s heart caught in his throat. If he told him about Shane, he would lose his job for sure. But he would also be away from him. 

“Um...I fell,” Harry lied, failing to understand how truly awful the fib was. 

Doctor Peters guffawed cheerfully, but soon turned serious. “No, you did not fall, Harry. I know this was done to you. I promise you that I can help you if you tell me who did this to you.”

Harry panicked. He wasn’t sure if he should rat out his boss or not. 

Suddenly, he heard Louis’ high pitched voice float through the closed door. He was clearly joking around with the other lads as he shouted “just do it!” But to Harry, it felt like a sign from above. The curly-haired boy took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to do. Lose his job, possibly have his boss come after him in ways he didn’t want to think about. After a moment of silence, Harry turned to Doctor Peters, and in a voice that came across calmer than he felt, he told the doctor the truth.

“My boss, Shane McRory did this to me.”

***

An hour later, after providing Shane’s details to the doctor to hand over to the police, Harry was not feeling particularly cheerful. On the bright side, his friends were allowed to join him in his hospital room once more.

Soon enough, Zayn entered the room alone.

He sat in the chair beside Harry’s bed before speaking. “Niall told me about your idea to open a cafe.” Harry looked over at him with tired eyes. “I think it’s a good idea. If that’s what you really want. But you don’t need to open a cafe to change your life, Haz.” Zayn stopped to gauge Harry’s reaction. He was staring at him blankly. “Tell me why you let Shane do this to you?” he begged. 

Harry’s eyes turned dark. “I couldn’t afford to lose my job, Zayn.”

“Cut the bullshit, Harry. You and I both know that you have plenty of money saved up. You could have gone without that job for a while. You could have found a new one.”

“Shut up.”

“No.” Harry scowled at his friend. “Tell me why you let Shane hurt you,” Zayn demanded angrily.

“Fine! Maybe I fucking deserved it! I lost my chance at love when Nick cheated on me. I wasn’t good enough for him, so maybe I deserve for Shane to destroy me.” 

Zayn’s breath caught in his throat. He had figured that Harry had some internal issues going on that he wouldn’t let out, but he didn’t expect this. “You don’t really believe that, do you?” he asked quietly. “Please tell me you don’t.”

“I do believe it. It’s true. I deserve every bit of pain he caused me. I miss Nick. It’s been a year, and I’m pathetic, and I deserve to be here. I deserve to be hurt.”

Zayn stood from his chair. “No, Harry. You don’t. I’m going to tell the doctor what you just told me. Don’t try to tell me not to. You need help, Haz.” Harry glared at Zayn’s back as his dark-haired friend walked out the door.

***

It’s been a month, and Niall misses Harry. Zayn wouldn’t tell him what happened when he was in the hospital room with the curly-haired boy, but after much pestering, he informed Niall that Harry probably wouldn’t be coming home for a while. 

Niall was sat on his couch with Louis, who had been staying with him in a useless attempt to cheer him up, when his phone rang. Niall saw Zayn’s name on the display screen and answered with a yawn.    
“What is it, Zayn?” 

“Harry’s coming back today. I’ll meet you at the hospital at one.” He said no more, and hung up the phone. Niall stared at the black screen in shock before jumping up to get ready to see his best friend. 

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Louis asked, confused.

“Harry’s coming back!” Niall exclaimed. 

“Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll get my stuff then-”

“You don’t have to do that now. Come see Hazza with me! I could tell he liked you when he met you at the hospital!” Louis grinned at the excited blonde, agreeing to join him. Secretly, Louis liked Harry when he met him too. Too much. He could see so much sadness in the pretty boy’s green eyes that he wanted to remove. 

The two lads sped off to the hospital as quick as they could.

***

Harry was waiting nervously in the psych ward of the hospital. 

He had been in a sort of rehab for the past month, and he was feeling a bit more like himself. The doctors helped him figure out that he had been too dependant on Nick, and when he was left without him, he didn’t know how to handle it. So he took his anxiety and pain out on himself. He still did, and he was working on it. That’s what his doctors told him anyway. Physically, Harry had healed completely. Mentally, he was still damaged. 

He had spent the first few weeks waking up screaming from nightmares of Shane fucking him, hurting him. Until last week, when a lawyer came into the ward to tell him that Shane was going to be on trial for what he had done to Harry. Harry wanted to jump for joy. His nightmares had become less frequent. Still, he worried. He was jobless outside the hospital. Without a job, his cafe flew out the window. All his money would be going toward his rent until he found a new one. 

But more important, and imminent, Harry missed his friends. He was excited to see them, but he was afraid to see judgement in their eyes when they came to get him from the clinic. He knew he had been in a bad place the last time he saw them, and now that he felt better, he cringed at the memories. 

There was a knock on the door, and then his favorite nurse, Joyce, poked her head in the gap. 

“Ready to get out of here, champ?” Joyce asked cheerfully. 

Harry hesitated. “I’ll miss you though,” he said. She laughed.

“Alright, sugar, you tell me how much you’ll miss me after you see your friends. There are four gentlemen waiting for you downstairs right now.”

“Four?” Niall, Liam, Zayn, and…?

“Yes, dear. Four. Now hop into the wheelchair. Protocol, you know.” She gave him a wink as he climbed into the chair. Joyce began wheeling him toward the elevator, humming a cheerful tune. Harry became antsy as they entered the lift. “Calm down, sweetheart. Everything is fine.” Her voice relaxed him until they approached the ground floor. 

Harry took a deep breath as the doors opened to reveal his three best friends standing in the lobby. Beside them was… Louis? Louis came to see him too? 

Niall saw him first. He smacked Liam on the arm, who gently got Zayn’s attention as well. Harry looked sheepishly at the three boys. Louis noticed him just after the rest, sending him the same bright grin that had managed to make him smile a month ago. It had the same effect now, and Harry broke into a wide, genuine smile as his friends made their way over to him. 

They greeted him quietly, awkwardly. Then Niall couldn’t contain himself anymore, and hurled himself into Harry’s lap, causing all five of the boys and Joyce to laugh happily. Harry was glad to be with his family again. That’s what these ridiculous boys were to him. Family. 

***

Harry was jammed into a car with Niall and Louis. In the backseat. Harry didn’t like being jammed in the backseat, because his legs were too long to be shoved in such a small area. 

“Sorry, Curly. I’m older, so I get the front seat,” Louis had teased in the hospital parking lot.

“But Louuuuiiiiiiis I’m taaaaallll,” Harry whined. Louis had just ignored him and climbed into the front seat anyway. Niall gave Harry a look of confusion, mixed with joy. Harry shrugged at his blonde friend.

So, Harry’s knees were sore from being bent at an awkward angle, and he was pouting. He could see Louis watching him pout with a smug smile on his face, and it only made him pout harder. He mumbled his irritation.

In the front seat, Louis was dying. Harry was fucking adorable. Louis had to actually pinch himself several times to stop from cooing at him.  _ Cooing.  _ Like he’s a fucking mother hen or something. How Louis hadn’t noticed just how adorable Harry was a month ago, he had no idea. Like, he thought he was hot, but  _ christ.  _ If Harry doesn’t stop his pouting, Louis may accidentally jump into the backseat and kiss the pout off him.

***

When Harry saw his own bed for the first time in a month, he wanted to cry. He didn’t, because he had been crying far too much in the past year. Instead, he jumped on his comfy mattress, face-planting into his pillow, and embracing the bed. As he snuggled into the warm covers, he heard an amused chuckle from the doorway. When he looked up, he found Louis staring at him with an entertained expression. There was also something Harry couldn’t identify in the boy’s eyes, but it was gone in moments.

“Niall told me to ask you what you want for dinner,” the feathery-haired boy started with a grin, “but I don’t know if I want to disturb you. You look so comfortable.” 

Harry poked his head of fluffy hair out from his duvet, amusement in his eyes. “I want something good,” he said, smirking. “Something like you.”

“If you wanted to have sex with me, all you had to do was ask,” Louis joked, the same something in his eyes as before. Harry choked on his own saliva. 

“Um… I didn’t mean-”

“Relax, Curly, it’s a joke,” Louis giggled and came closer.

“Oh. I-” Harry began. Louis cut him off again. 

“Dinner? What do you want, love?”

“I- uh… I’m not sure. I’ve been eating hospital food for a month, so anything homemade works for me.” Louis nodded and patted Harry on the head before leaving the room once again. Harry was left blushing when he realized the pet name Louis had given him.  _ Love. _

***

Harry was confused. Louis was still at the flat with him and Niall, and he didn’t seem to have any intent on leaving. He had been there since Harry returned from the hospital, and that was the day before yesterday. Not that he minded Louis being around, in fact Harry was getting quite the soft spot for the cheerful lad.  _ A soft spot that I’m trying to lose _ . But Harry was positive that Louis had his own flat, and wasn’t sure why he was still sleeping on Niall’s bumpy sofa. 

Louis was currently sprawled across said sofa, his mouth open, soft snores echoing through the living room. Harry walked over to him quietly, doing his best to not wake his new friend. 

Last night, Louis had been giving him strange looks. He and Niall had been playing FIFA as Harry watched, and everytime Harry made a comment, Louis glanced over at him with his bright blue eyes alight. So, Harry was confused. No one had ever looked at him like that, and his heart fluttered at the memory of Louis’ gaze.

When Harry reached the smaller boy, he regarded him with wonder. Harry had been in a terrible place for a year, and yet, this cheerful man could make him smile like he hadn’t since before he ever even  _ met _ Nick. He couldn’t help but reach out and pet the feathery hair as the boy slept. Louis stirred, pressing into Harry’s hand. Harry smiled softly at his cuteness, then his face fell.  _ No. You know what will happen if you fall for him.  _ The tall boy pulled his hand away as if he had been burned, and shuffled into the kitchen quickly. His heart was racing, and he held a look of terror on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Thoughts? Please leave comments, it really makes my day to read what you guys are thinking. Thank you all for everything, all the love x N


	9. Noises We Do Not Want to Hear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda angsty, kinda fluffy, but hopefully fun for you! Enjoy!

It’s been a week now, and Louis still hasn’t left. Harry was too afraid to ask about it, and no one seemed to think of telling him what was happening. Louis was constantly around, and constantly adorable, and Harry was worried that if he was around him too much more, he would start to get  _ feelings.  _ He couldn’t do feelings. Not again. So Harry stayed out when he could, visiting Zayn and Liam more than the couple likely appreciated.

Back at the flat, Niall was very cautious around Harry, and it was beginning to get to him. The Irish boy tiptoed around any subject that even remotely resembled what Harry had heard him refer to as a “Harry Issue.” These “Harry Issues” included: Shane, Nick, cafes, jobs, hospitals, sex, and too many more to count. 

Therefore, Niall hardly spoke around him at all, choosing to remain silent to “avoid giving Harry a meltdown,” as the boy in question had heard him say to Zayn. Harry didn’t feel like he would have a meltdown. Maybe he would have a month ago, when he was in the throes of his recovery, but he felt like he could handle it now. Most days, anyway.

Niall was standing in the kitchen making a cheese toastie when Harry decided to confront him. 

“Why won’t you talk to me?” he asked. 

Niall froze. 

“Uh… what do you mean, Haz?” He didn’t look up from the toastie.

“Niall, don’t treat me like an idiot. I don’t want you to stop talking to me just to avoid hurting my feelings,” Harry pleaded. The boy at the burner slowly turned his gaze to his tall friend. Guilt flooded his face as he looked at Harry. Harry continued speaking now that he knew he had Niall’s attention. “I don’t want to be sad anymore.”

“Harry-” Niall started.

“No, wait. I want to finish. I don’t want you to treat me differently because of my problems. I know I have a lot of them, but I really need your support right now. You avoiding me is starting to feel like it did before Shane hurt me, and I really can’t deal with it. I know you don’t want to hurt me, but you are, so please just talk to me the way you used to?” Harry took a deep breath as he ended his speech. 

Niall set down his spatula and walked over to Harry, his head hanging as he took a shuddery breath. He was standing only a foot away from the curly-haired boy when he lifted his head and gazed into Harry’s eyes. Niall’s sea-blue eyes were glossed over, tears brimming over the edge as he sniffled out an apology.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m an awful friend. I keep messing up, even though I promised I wouldn’t do it again. I don’t want to make you sad. How can I make it up to you?” He was sobbing by the time he finished. Harry gazed down at him quietly, with tears forming in his own eyes. He pulled his blonde friend into his arms and they both fell to the floor with a sob.

That was where Louis found them a while later, tangled together on the floor as they cried. 

“Shit, are you guys okay?” he asked, concerned.

Harry looked up, offering a watery smile with a nod. “Yeah, sorry. We’re a bit of a mess.” He pet Niall’s back as the blonde continuing his sniffling. Louis giggled.

“I think that’s an understatement. I’ll leave you to it then-”

“Wait, Louis,” Harry cut him off. The small man raised an eyebrow, signalling for him to go on. Harry finally felt brave enough to ask the question that had been on his mind all week. He pulled away from Niall and sat up. “Why are you here?” Louis blushed and looked down at his bare feet, embarrassed. 

“Um. I can go if it makes you uncomfortable,” he mumbled. Harry immediately regretted his question.

“No no no!” Louis jerked his head up to look at the boy, who was standing up from the floor. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t mind you being here, I’m just curious. Don’t you have your own flat?”

“Erm. Well, yeah. But I stayed here with Niall while you were in the hospital. Said he felt lonely without you around.” Niall flushed, still sat on the kitchen tile. “So I offered to stay. And I guess I just kind of got used to it?” Louis had that look in his eye again. The one that Harry couldn’t identify, no matter how hard he tried. “Like I said, I can go,” Louis offered.

“No!” Harry said, too abruptly. “I- I mean. Uh. I mean you can stay if you want to.” It sounded like a question. Louis was smirking at him, and The Look was still there. Harry blushed, looking anywhere but at Louis. 

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

***

Harry was sad again. Well, he was sad still. He had locked himself in his room, ignoring any attempts at conversation from Niall and Louis (who was still living with them, another week later), crying his eyes out once again. He could tell both boys were worried about him. 

Louis came knocking first, around lunchtime, asking Harry if he wanted a sandwich. Harry said nothing, holding back his sobs until he heard footsteps fading as Louis walked away from his door. Niall knocked an hour or so later, begging him through the door to at least eat some crisps. Again, Harry did not reply, forcing his cries down while the Irish boy was near his bedroom. 

Later that evening, Harry was curled up in the far corner of his room, thinking about things that his therapist would not be happy about if she knew. He thought about Nick, and how happy he must be now, without Harry. He thought about how much better life would be for Niall if he didn’t have to look after Harry all the time. He thought about how the rest of the world would be happier without him. He froze when that thought hit him. 

_ No,  _ he told himself,  _ it’s not true.  _

But a niggling voice in the back of his mind disagreed.  _ It is true. You’re a burden to your friends. Niall is too worried about you to live his life to the fullest. You always intrude on Zayn and Liam when they clearly want to be alone. Louis is only here to make Niall feel better. And Nick is probably fucking some boy much prettier than you could ever be, because he doesn’t want you. Why do you think he cheated on you in the first place? You weren’t good enough.  _

Harry was terrified of the voice. It told him things that he was too afraid to admit to himself, too weak to think about. 

The part that scared him the most was the fact that he believed it.

***

Louis was scared. Harry had locked himself in his bedroom, and wouldn’t come out, or speak to him or Niall. Louis hadn’t been able to get anything done, too worried for his new friend. 

Louis was not afraid to admit to himself that over the past few weeks, he had developed a bit of a crush on the curly-haired boy. He  _ was  _ afraid to admit it to anyone else though. Even Niall, who Louis had become very close with, would not be hearing about Louis attraction. It scared Louis that he was falling for the man so fast, because he was aware that Harry was not okay. He wasn’t ready for any sort of relationship, and likely wouldn’t be for a long time. And no one would tell Louis the full story of what had happened to Harry, probably for good reason. The one time Louis had gathered the strength to ask Zayn, he was told, “It’s not my story to tell, mate. Ask Harry.” But Louis would not be asking Harry, because Harry wasn’t stable enough to tell his story, and Louis didn’t want to see the boy he was falling for upset. 

Multiple times that day, Louis had been so worried for Harry that he had considered breaking down the door. Louis would never do that of course, as it might scare Harry, and that was the last thing he wanted. Also, as Niall had somberly noted when Louis mentioned the idea, Louis would not  _ be able _ to break down a door, even if he tried. Louis then suggested that he do it, which Niall ignored, turning to stare at the now cold cheese toastie he had made for Harry. 

Some time after Niall had made a failed attempt at offering Harry some dinner, Louis decided to check on him again. He walked quietly to the locked door of Harry’s bedroom, trying his best not to let the boy inside know he was there. When he was only a few steps away from the door, Louis heard a sound that ripped his heart to shreds. Floating quietly into the hallway from Harry’s room was the sound of agonized sobs. He stood at the door for a moment, near tears himself as he listened to the lovely boy wailing. Soon, he could not take it anymore, and knocked on the door. 

“Harry, please,” he choked, resting his forehead against the wood of the doorframe. “Please, let me in. I can’t stand hearing you crying and not being able to help. Please.” He was holding back tears as Harry’s cries quieted. A few minutes of silence later, Louis was just about to give up and walk away when the door was pulled open cautiously. 

Harry stood in the doorway, his shoulders hunched as he gazed at Louis with red-rimmed eyes. He wore a baggy Manchester University sweatshirt, one Louis had never seen on Harry before. before. His hair was a mess, strands tangled together into one giant disaster, and there were dark bags under his green eyes. The green was duller than normal, and Louis hated it. He loved Harry’s emerald greens, and seeing them so dim hurt tugged at his heart. 

The boy bowed his head and sniffled, bringing Louis’ attention away from Harry’s appearance. The smaller boy immediately pulled the tearful lad into his arms, causing him to sob into Louis’ shoulder. Louis gently steered him toward Harry’s bed, pulling the tall boy down into a cuddle. He had never seen Harry so small, so sad. He cuddled into Louis, sobbing into his t-shirt.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong, love?” he asked quietly. Harry only buried his head into Louis’ chest further. He didn’t answer, and Louis didn’t ask again, allowing the sad man to use him for comfort. The two remained tangled together until Harry fell asleep, his cries quieted to silent streams down his face, and Louis followed closely behind.

***

When Louis woke, Harry was still curled up into his chest. His heart stuttered when the boy nuzzled into Louis’ shirt, inhaling deeply. The tall lad had dried tear tracks along his cheeks, and the conscious boy above him longed to wipe them away. He didn’t have to resist for long, as Harry stirred from his slumber moments later with a groan. 

Louis gazed at the boy fondly, trying to hold back a grin as some of the curly hair got caught in its owner’s mouth, who pawed at his face in irritation. Harry seemed to have trouble with coordination in the morning, as he couldn’t seem to find the lock of hair that was sitting between his lips. Louis couldn’t help but gently remove the strand himself, holding his hand on Harry’s face just slightly too long. Harry startled when he felt Louis’ hand on his cheek, slowly turning his heavy gaze to the boy whose chest he had just slept on for the night. Louis smiled his cheery grin down at the soft green eyes. 

The soft green eyes smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww they're so cute. My babies. Thank you all so much for reading, leaving kudos, commenting, bookmarking, subscribing, everything! I love you all so much for doing what you do, and I really appreciate it! Please comment and tell me what you thought of the chapter, you guys know I love it. It makes my day, and I'd really love getting your feedback, even if it's just to tell me about a mistake, I'll fix it! All the love x N


	10. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... please don't kill me. Enjoy!

Harry was curled up on the floor of his shower, his chin resting on his knees. He was not crying, he wasn’t even sure he would be able to cry after the day of tears yesterday.

Harry was curled up on the floor of his shower because he was worried. It seemed to him that he was always either sad or worried lately, which only made him feel sad and worried. But at this moment, Harry was worried because he was starting to fall for Louis Tomlinson. 

Louis was lovely. He had pretty blue eyes, and fluffy hair, and cheekbones that could cut glass, but Harry was still sad. Some part of him thought that he would always be sad. And sad people shouldn’t date happy people, because that would only make  _ them  _ sad. The world didn’t need any more sad people. Harry was sad enough for everyone. 

Harry wasn’t quite sure  _ why  _ he was starting to fall for Louis, he only knew that he was. It was strange to him, as the two had hardly spoke, but still the blue-eyed boy had come to Harry’s rescue the night before, holding him while he cried. Louis had somehow wormed a little spot in Harry’s heart, and Harry wanted nothing more than to fill that tiny hole with concrete before anything unpleasant could get in. Unfortunately, Harry didn’t have any concrete, and the gap was already full of a tiny, feathery-haired man.

When Harry had awoke to find Louis smiling down at him, he had smiled back at the man, lost in the moment. But when he regained full consciousness, he felt his heart crack at the knowledge that he would not be able to love Harry. Harry had his chance at love, and he blew it. Seeing Louis with that delight on his face made Harry feel like he could almost have it again. And so, Harry ran. Before Louis’ face could fall entirely at Harry’s brow furrowing as he pulled out of the tight embrace, the tall boy was out of the room, on his way to hide in the shower. Harry sat there for what felt like hours, and waited, praying silently that his feelings would go away. So he could move on, and simply be  _ Harry.  _ So he could purchase twelve cats and live out the rest of his life alone, because that was what he deserved.

Back in Harry’s room, Louis was fretting over the boy who had run from him just minutes before. Harry had smiled at Louis, making the smaller boy’s heart flutter at the toothy grin. And then, after only a moment, the smile was gone, and replacing it was a look of fear. Harry was not afraid of Louis, but he was afraid of something, and Louis was determined to protect the boy from whatever he felt threatened by. Because Harry deserved the world, and more.

Louis knew he cared too much, too soon, for a boy that was not prepared for any sort of affection that he wanted to give. But he was struggling to find the will to care. Harry had a tight grip on Louis’ heart, even after just a few weeks of friendship, and Louis would happily watch on as the curly-haired lad ripped his life away. 

*** 

Another week later, and the feelings were only growing stronger. Both boys were terrified of their own hearts, as they were equally positive that the other could never love them. Not after everything that had happened. 

Harry was at Molly’s Pub, alone, because no one would come with him on a Wednesday. But Harry didn’t have a job, so every day was a weekend in his book. He needed a job. For now, he deigned to spend his (practically prostitution-earned) money on alcohol. Alcohol made him feel better. For a while. Until he woke the next day, his head pounding while he cried over his break up. It had been over a year since he had seen the only person to have ever loved him. Nick. The thought tore him up inside. So he planned to get  _ very  _ drunk.

Harry was downing a whiskey when someone tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he choked on the harsh liquid running down his throat. 

“Hey, Harry. Long time, no see,” Nick teased, his quiff bouncing as he looked Harry up and down. The long-haired boy’s eyes widened dramatically. This was ironic. And horrific. 

Nick was staring at him, and Harry realized that he should have said something several moments ago. “Oh. Um. Yeah, I guess,” he stuttered. 

Nick continued to gaze at him. “How’ve you been?” 

Just the question Harry didn’t want to hear.  _ Oh, you know. Incredibly depressed. Apparently I don’t know how to live without you.  _

“Fine.” Nick’s forehead crinkled. Harry cringed. He had noticed Harry’s lie. After all, Nick had known him for a long time, very intimately. He could tell when Harry was lying. Unfortunately, Harry apparently never gained that skill.

“Oh,” Nick muttered. “Th-That’s good I suppose. Um. Can I talk to you?”

Harry was  _ definitely  _ not drunk enough to have that conversation. “Uh… We are talking.”

“No, I mean like. Can we go back to the flat and have a talk?” he stuttered. He seemed nervous. Harry peered over his now empty whiskey glass, curious. 

“I suppose,” he agreed. 

***

The drive back to the-- _ Nick’s  _ apartment was awkward. There was only silence between the two passengers of the taxi as the driver fiddled with the radio. When they reached their destination, Harry clambered out of the car as Nick paid the cabbie, then the two walked silently into the building. Nothing was said until they had entered the flat that used to be half Harry’s. 

“Do you… want something to drink?” Harry only shook his head. As much as he wanted to be drunk right now, he knew he shouldn’t be. “Okay.” 

Nick sat down on the sofa that Harry used to love cuddling into. Any trace that Harry had ever lived in the apartment was gone, apart from a tiny stain on one of the pillows from when he had spilled some red wine. That had been a good day. Nick had made him laugh so hard that his glass tipped. 

Harry shook himself out of the past. “Why did you bring me here, Nick?” he asked quietly. 

The man stared at him, observing him. Nick took a shuddery breath. “I miss you.” 

Harry’s heart stopped. His chance wasn’t gone. He could be loved again. Nick still wanted him.

“I miss you so much, baby,” Nick continued. “I want you back. I’m so sorry for what I did, and I swear it will never happen again. Please come back to me?” 

Harry’s thoughts were going a mile a minute. He was overjoyed. The only man he ever loved was apologizing, begging for him to return. His thoughts momentarily landed on Louis, but he pushed it away, choosing to focus on the man in front of him.

Harry smiled lightly, hiding his blush as he stared down into his lap. “I miss you too.”

***

Niall was  _ fucking pissed. _ And not the good kind of pissed, but the angry kind of pissed. Harry had just texted him, saying he wouldn’t be home that night. When Niall had asked why, only moments later, and Harry had ignored him. So, Niall was pissed. Louis was worried too, noting Niall’s foul mood, as well as Harry’s absence. 

“Niall, calm down. What’s the matter?” the boy asked delicately.

“Harry’s not coming home tonight.” Niall wasn’t looking at him. 

Louis froze. “Why?”

“I don’t know why. That’s why I’m angry. Fucker won’t answer me,” Niall spat. “I swear to god, if that idiot gets himself hurt again, I’m going to fucking kill him. Fuck!”

Louis couldn’t respond, possibilities of what Harry could be doing running rapidly through his head. The feeling that punched Louis in the chest when he thought of Harry doing  _ things _ with other guys was so intense that he had to sit down. He had never felt it before, but Louis thought he might be… jealous? 

_ You have no right to be jealous,  _ he scolded himself.  _ He’s not yours. _

_ But you want him to be, _ the annoying voice in his head informed him. 

Louis ignored the voice. “Has he ever done this before?” he asked Niall, not sure what answer he was hoping for.

“No, that’s why I’m so worried. I mean, he used to do stuff like this all the time when he was still with his ex, but they broke up over a year ago. When they were together, I almost never saw him, because he was always with Nick,” Niall ranted, frustrated. 

“Maybe you should call Zayn? Check if Harry’s with him?” Louis suggested, hopeful.

“No, Zayn always texts me to let me know if Harry’s with him. We keep an eye on him. He’s fragile.” This made sense to Louis, as Harry seemed fairly delicate. He was happy the boy had such good friends. “I just don’t know where he could be!”

Louis was just as worried as Niall, though he tried not to show it. “Well, he’s okay. He texted you to tell you he wouldn’t be home. I think you ought to go to bed, and we’ll call him in the morning. Alright, mate?” Niall sighed, frustrated, but agreed. 

Louis hardly slept at all in his worried state. 

***

Harry stretched contentedly in the bed he had always shared with Nick. The man beside him was being excessively cuddly, and Harry was living for it. Harry was pleasantly satisfied, as Nick rubbed his cum over his lower stomach. His  _ boyfriend  _ (not ex anymore!) had just given him a much needed handjob, and Harry was just about to return the favor when his phone rang. 

“Ignore it, baby,” Nick muttered, kissing up the side of Harry’s neck. 

Harry sighed and rose from the bed. “I can’t. The boys are probably worried about me, and Niall’s been calling me since last night. Just give me a minute, don’t have too much fun without me.” He winked, walking out of the room.

“Hello?” Harry greeted when he clicked into the call. 

“Where the fuck are you?” Niall seethed. 

“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” Harry sassed. 

“Cut the shit Harry, where the fuck are you? I’ve been worried sick! You can ask Louis just how worried I’ve been,” the boy ranted. Harry felt a flicker of guilt when he heard Louis’ name. He pushed it aside, glancing at the door behind which his boyfriend waited for him. 

“I’m fine. I’ll be back later, and I’ll explain then. Promise. Okay, I’ve got to go, I’ll see you tonight. Bye!” Harry hung up the phone before Niall could reply. He returned to Nick with a sly smirk on his face, reaching down to palm at the cock he had missed so much.

***

Niall stared down at his phone in shock. Harry had never spoken to him like that before. He had completely ignored the Irish boy, brushing off his worries without a care. It was strange though. Harry had seemed… different. Not happy, but… different. Harry’s odd behavior made him worry further. He expressed his fears to Louis.

“I don’t know mate. I guess we’ll find out when he gets back,” the Doncaster lad advised. 

So they waited. Now, waiting is horrifically boring if you know what you’re waiting for, but it’s even more boring if you don’t. Time seemed to stop completely as the two lads awaited Harry’s return. Louis even began chewing on the side of his thumbnail, while Niall chewed on a candy bar. 

Eventually, Harry burst through the door, a grin on his face. The banging of the door against the wall startled the two boys out of their worried reveries, and within moments, Niall was on his feet. 

“Where the hell have you been?” he shouted at the oddly cheerful Harry. 

Harry’s smile didn’t falter. “With Nick.” Niall stopped in his tracks, his jaw slackening. 

“Excuse me?” he asked, as if he could have misunderstood.

“Nick and I got back together,” Harry said proudly. 

Louis’ heart stopped. He had thought maybe after Harry healed a bit…

“What the  _ fuck? _ ” Niall yelled. “Why the fuck did you do that?”

Harry’s smile wobbled. “I- I thought you would be happy for me,” he muttered. 

“Happy for you? Why in the fuck would I be happy for you? He cheated on you Harry, in case you don’t remember?” If Louis’ heart had been able to continue its beating, it would have stopped again.  _ Oh, Harry. No. _

“I don’t care,” Harry shouted back. “I love him.” 

“Don’t be an idiot. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You know that.” 

“He promised me-”

“HE LIED!” 

Niall was breathing heavily as he glared at Harry. The tall boy withered under his friend’s gaze. 

“Please, Niall,” he whimpered. “He’s the only person who ever loved me.” 

Louis’ frozen heart cracked down the middle, and he shed a tear for the boy he knew he could love better than anyone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, some of you might have noticed that I didn't post a chapter yesterday, and that's because I'm going to be slowing down my updates. I can't keep up, and I have finals for the next week or two, so I'll just update when I can.  
> Also, as usual, thank you all for reading, please comment to let me know your predictions, suggestions, thoughts, whatever you would like. All the love x N


	11. Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think you guys will like this one. It's a bit shorter than usual, but I like the content, and I hope you guys do too! Enjoy!

Louis hadn’t seen Harry in three days. He knew that Harry was with  _ Nick, _ his cheater of a boyfriend, and it made Louis angry. Louis was angry because Nick didn’t deserve Harry, just like Harry didn’t deserve to be cheated on. Why the fuck someone would cheat on Harry, Louis had no idea. The man was perfect, and as hard as he tried, Louis couldn’t find a flaw in him. He was falling harder for Harry with each passing day, and the knowledge that he was probably fucking his asshole boyfriend made him want to cry. 

He had been sleeping in Harry’s abandoned bedroom, surrounding himself in the man’s scent. He told Niall that if Harry wasn’t going to use it, Louis might as well. Which was true, but mostly Louis just missed Harry. Louis himself hadn’t been to his own flat in weeks, and he had only just remembered that he was supposed to live somewhere else.

“I’m moving back in with Nick,” Harry announced as he walked through the front door for the first time in days. Louis’ heart sank further than he could have believed. 

Niall stared at him in astonishment. “You just got back together with him. And now you trust him enough to move in with him again?”   
“It’s my flat too, Niall. My name is on the lease. And yes, I trust him. Wholeheartedly.” 

Harry was being stupid. Louis was sad, and angry, and hurt, because Harry was choosing an asshole over him. 

Louis had not been getting involved with Harry and Niall’s fights over Nick, but he chose this moment to speak up. 

“Why?” His voice was quiet, and Harry startled at the sound.

“W-Why what, Lou?” Harry stuttered.

“Why do you trust him? He cheated on you, right? Why would you go back to that?”

Harry stared. “I… Because I love him?” 

“Is that a question?” Louis chuckled without any humor. 

“Um. No. I love him.”

“Are you sure that’s good enough?” 

Harry did not answer. He could only gaze at Louis, who stared back, desperate questions in his eyes.  _ Why him?  _ he begged silently.  _ Why him, and not me?  _ Harry did not give him answers, simply walked to his bedroom, the very same one that Louis had been sleeping in for three nights. 

Louis wouldn’t let Harry get away with his stupidity that easily. He followed the tall boy into the bedroom, prepared to shout at his friend. He slammed into the room, startling Harry.

“Why are you being so willfully ignorant?” Harry glared at him.

“Why are you so worried about it? It’s my relationship. You don’t know anything about me, or Nick,” he spat.

Louis flinched. He stared down at his socked feet. When he gathered the strength to speak again, he was calm. “You’re right. I might not know you very well, and I don’t know Nick at all. But I know cheaters. I’ve been there, Harry. It hurts. The pain isn’t worth it, trust me.” Harry is staring at him, empathy burning in his eyes. When Louis looks up, blue meets green, and neither boy can look away. They hold the gaze, staring each other down. Louis feels as though the other boy is staring into his soul, and looks back down suddenly. 

“What happened?” Harry asks gently, breaking the long silence. Louis jerks his head up again, questions written all over his face. “Who cheated on you?”

“I’ll tell mine if you tell yours,” Louis responds, his questions answered.

Harry hesitated. Then, a nod. 

“Alright. We’d better sit down for this. It’s a lot,” the shorter boy mumbled. Another nod. They sit beside each other, a half meter between them on the bed. Louis doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, the two sit in silence as the boy gathers his thoughts. Eventually, “It happened about a year and a half ago.” Harry nods. Just before Nick cheated on him. How was Louis so much better than Harry? “My boyfriend and I met when I was in uni, and I thought it was forever. We were together for five years, and I loved him.  _ God _ , I loved him. His name was Alex, and he was so sweet. For the first four and a half years anyway. Then he started getting… distant. For the last five months of the relationship, he started disappearing. He wouldn’t answer his phone when I called him, worried, and never texted. I would scream my head off at him when he got home. Every time. Then, he would kiss me, and I would forgive him. I shouldn’t have. I suspected that he was cheating on me, but I think I was in denial. He told me he was ‘working’ and I didn’t question it. Until the last time I saw him. I went to visit him at his office and found him getting fucked by his twinky assistant. As angry as I was, I couldn’t say I was surprised. So I went back to our flat and packed up all my stuff. I was gone by the next day. Found myself a new flat, got a job at Molly’s, and met Zayn. Then I met Niall through him. And you know the rest.” Louis took a deep breath, steadying himself. It drained all of his energy to talk about Alex, and all he wanted was a nap. 

A few feet away, Harry was in shock. Louis’ story was so similar to his own. “How…” Louis looked over at him. “How are you okay?” Harry asked. 

The small man chuckled. “I’m  _ not. _ I’m trying to be. But I guess I’m just a better actor than you are.” Harry didn’t answer. “Your turn, Curly.”

“We’re in more similar situations than you know, Lou.”

Louis sat through Harry’s story in silence. Harry spoke about waking up to find Nick gone, about waiting for him all day, only to catch him being fucked against a window while he was on the way to the grocery store. Harry considered whether he should tell Louis about Shane, as he knew the smaller man did not know the full story, but decided against it in the end. Maybe he would tell him at some point, when he was ready to tell it.

When Harry finished reliving his tale, he found himself curled up in Louis’ chest, feeling guilty. He felt like an idiot. Louis had been watching him speak with a small frown on his face, and Harry had withered under the gaze. Nick had cheated on him. Betrayed him in the worst way possible, and Harry had been stupid enough to go back to him. All because he didn’t know how to live without him.

“I think you should get some more help, Harry,” Louis said gently, still looking down at the boy cuddled into his chest. “You think so negatively of yourself, and you don’t deserve it. I thought I was fucked up by Alex, but  _ you  _ Harry. You are so kind, and sweet, and wonderful, and yet you tell me that it was your fault he cheated on you. It’s not your fault, love. It will never be your fault. He is an idiot, and you should get away from him. Go see a therapist instead. They can help, trust me.” The two boys locked eyes as Louis said his piece. Harry’s eyes were welling up with tears as he gazed up at Louis. The bluest blue he had ever seen was clawing its way into his soul, climbing into the gap that he had created for himself just days ago. 

His heart had a hole when he was away from Louis, and Harry was scared. It was no longer a Nick-shaped hole. Someone had begun to stitch it closed, and Nick no longer fit. And Louis Tomlinson held a needle and thread as he sewed Harry’s heart back together again. Being with Nick only made it clear that Nick did not fit in the Louis-shaped hole of Harry’s heart.

***

Harry anxiously stood outside what used to be his flat, his soon to be ex-boyfriend (again) waiting for him inside. Eventually, he worked up the courage to knock on the door. When Nick opened the door, he gave Harry a confused look, then a sly grin. 

“You live here again you know, you don’t have to knock. In fact, please don’t-”

“I can’t move in with you,” Harry cut him off. 

Nick startled. “What? Why? I thought…” 

“I can’t move in with you because I’m breaking up with you. Again. Um. I was stupid for even letting you convince me to get back together in the first place,” Harry stuttered, nervous. 

“What the fuck?” Nick growled. “I thought you had forgiven me. I thought we were going to be happy-”

“I didn’t. I mean. I can’t forgive you. I thought I could, but. No.” Harry turned around to leave, having gotten his message across, but Nick grabbed him by the arm. 

“No, you’re not leaving. You aren’t doing this to me again.”   
“I never did anything to you,” Harry gasped. “You did this to yourself, and I will be happy without you.” The last part of his statement felt more directed at himself than Nick. “Let go of me.” He yanked his hand out of his ex-boyfriend’s grip, and walked away, a satisfied smile on his face.

Outside, Louis anxiously waited in his car for Harry. For some reason, he had agreed to drive him to Nick’s place so he could break up with him. Harry had said something about “needing his support,” and Louis jumped at the chance to be with him. He regretted it now, realizing that Harry was bound to be unhappy when he came back.

Speaking of the devil, Harry walked out the door of the building, and Louis was shocked at what he saw. Harry was walking with a spring in his step, and a grin stretched across his face. When the curly-haired boy got in the car, he was still smiling, now at Louis. 

“Went well, then?” Louis asked.

Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek in response. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, cutie Harry. It's so nice to see him smiling! Thank you all so much for reading, leaving kudos, commenting, etc. Last chapter got more comments than ever, so special shout out to those who commented, thank you all for making my day:) Please continue commenting, I love talking to you guys! All the love x N


	12. Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very fluffy and adorable, so I hope you enjoy!

Louis had never seen Harry as liberated and free as he looked on the ride back to Niall’s flat. Harry was singing along to the radio as Louis smiled over at him fondly, overjoyed to see the boy so happy. While unexpected, he was glad for the other boy’s change of mood.

 _“I love me! Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else!”_ The tall boy sang at the top of his lungs, a massive grin on his face. Louis couldn’t hold back a giggle at the ridiculous expression on his face. At the noise, Harry paused in his singing to look over at the cause. His grin became even wider as he resumed his singing, louder and goofier than before.

By the time the car pulled up in front of the flat, Louis was struggling to keep his eyes on the road, laughing so hard that it ached in his ribs. The boy threw the car into park and rested his forehead against the steering wheel, recovering from his laughing fit as Harry continued belting out the words to awful pop songs.

“You are ridiculous. You know that?” Louis gazed fondly at the man who had just finished his rendition of “Uptown Funk.”

The boy smiled in return, nodding. “I know. You are too.”

Louis slapped a hand against his chest, pretending to be offended. He gasped dramatically. “Me? Ridiculous? Never.”

Harry grinned and pushed open the door of the car. “Alright, Mr. Normal. C’mon, I wanna talk to Ni.”

“I never said I was normal,” Louis replied, climbing out the driver’s side, “I just said I wasn’t ridiculous.”

“Same thing,” Harry said, waving a hand dismissively as the two men walked up the drive.

“It is not the same thing! How dare you call me such an offensive term,” Louis sassed in response, causing the other man to grin.

“You know, most people would find being called ‘normal’ a compliment.”

“I’m not most people.” Louis pushed open the door, kicking off his Vans while Harry stood in the doorway.

“No,” Harry said, contemplative. “You’re not.”

***

Harry felt happier than he had in a year. Nick had been a cage, and Harry had been the bird, but now the cage was broken, and he was free. He was surrounded by his friends, and he, Niall, and Louis were on their way to Molly’s to meet Zayn and Liam.

Niall had noticed Harry’s cheerful mood, and when he asked about it, Harry had responded, “I’m finally free, Niall.”

Louis silently grinned from the backseat, happy to see the adorable man so delighted. When Niall stopped the car in front of Molly’s Pub, Louis and Harry climbed out so Niall could find a parking spot, and the two of them could find Zayn and Liam.

They walked into the bar, Harry easily scanning over the tops of everyone’s heads, searching for their friends, as Louis stood on his tiptoes to try and do the same. When the taller boy noticed Louis’ actions, he grinned down at the short boy.

“No need to compensate, love,” he teased. “I’m sure you don’t need it.” Louis fell back onto his heels, gulping at the words. He blushed, but seemed to regain his confidence shortly.

“You’re right, I don’t,” he replied with a wink. Harry was left staring after him as he sauntered off to where he had located Zayn, standing a few booths down from their usual table. Harry thought to himself that no one naturally swung their hips _that_ much. After finding himself staring blankly at the place where Louis’ bum had been moments before, he managed to shake himself out of it and locate his friends.

“Managed to tear your eyes away, Haz?” Zayn joked as he approached the table. Louis snickered as Harry grumbled, annoyed. Liam was giggling at his boyfriend, cuddling under his arm. Zayn looked down at the boy in his arms and fonded all over him, showering his face in little pecks. Harry and Louis groaned in unison as Niall fell into the seat beside Harry.

All five boys were packed into a booth, Louis squeezed into the middle. Harry was on his right, with ZaynandLiam on his left. Louis had decided that the couple was only taking up one full seat, practically sitting on top of each other. The two started making out heavily, very close to Louis.

“Alright, Ziam, chill out,” the feathery-haired boy half-joked, “there’ll be plenty of time for that later. Alone. Without me three centimeters away.” Harry broke into a fit of giggles, causing Louis to gaze at him fondly, smiling lightly as his eyes crinkled at the corners. Niall coughed into his hand, a knowing look on his face as he watched the exchange. The Irish boy quirked an eyebrow at Louis, who grinned back.

“What the fuck is a Ziam?” Zayn asked, backed by a dazed Liam.

“It’s your name. You two are attached at the hip, so you get one name now.” Louis grinned at the couple.

“I like it, babe,” Liam said, smiling softly at his boyfriend, who went in for another kiss.

“No, no, no, no!” Louis shoved a hand between the two boys’ mouths, effectively stopping them from starting up again. “Not again. Liam, go sit next to Niall if you two aren’t going to behave.”

Harry was still giggling quietly next to him, burying his face into Niall’s neck. Louis had never wanted to be a neck before, but there’s a first time for everything.

Liam didn’t move, just buried his face into Zayn’s neck with a mumbled, “sorry, Lou.”

Louis didn’t respond, just gently nudged the curly-haired boy on his right to request to get out. “What do you want to drink, Haz?” he asked.

“Something sweet,” he answered with a small smile.

“I’ll take a pint, mate,” Niall said loudly.

Louis looked at him, unamused. “Did I ask you what you wanted, Niall? Get your own pint,” he sassed.

Harry giggled again. Louis swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard, and wanted to hear it forever. Instead of making another joke to hear the lovely noise, Louis walked off toward the bar to get Harry and himself their drinks, followed closely by an irritated Niall. When the two reached the bar and were waiting for their drinks, Niall spoke up.

“What’s going on with you and Harry?”

Louis looked at him in surprise. “There’s nothing going on, Ni.”

“Bullshit. I see the way you look at him. He’s my best friend, Lou. I know him better than most people, and he’s gone through a lot of shit. I don’t want him to get hurt again. Now, what’s going on, Louis?” Niall’s face was hard, focused.

“I’m serious, Niall. Nothing is going on. I just… I like him a lot. And I know he’s gone through a lot, I want to help. I don’t want to hurt him. That’s the last thing I want. I know he’s not… ready for any sort of relationship, but I want to be here for him. I care about him. More than I should, really.” Louis took a deep breath as he finished his speech.

Niall’s face softened. “Alright. But if you hurt him at all, I’ll chop your cock off.” Louis cackled loudly as the bartender passed over their drinks. The two boys, now in better spirits, carried the drinks over to their friends.

“Here you go, love,” Louis said gently as he passed Harry his Sex on the Beach. “Sweet enough for you?”

Harry nodded as he sucked on the straw, likely harder than was strictly necessary. Louis gulped, thinking about the boy sucking on other things. To block out his bad thoughts, he took several long sips of his own pint as Niall snickered at the scene.

The whole night consisted of too much PDA from “Ziam,” as Louis had dubbed the couple, lots of snickering from Niall as he observed his friends, and tons of Louis trying to avoid staring at Harry. Harry, who was on his fifth Sex on the Beach. Harry who was quickly approaching belligerency. Harry, who was currently snuggling into Louis, causing the smaller boy a bit of a problem every time the taller nuzzled his face into Louis’ neck.

“Hmm, love how warm you are, Lou Lou,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ throat. Louis tensed.

“Haz, I think you need to slow down on the drinks,” Louis stammered as the scent of strawberry shampoo drifted into his nostrils.

“Mm, but they’re so yummy,” he moaned, pulling away only enough to get his mouth around the straw again.

Louis was going to die. His cock was half-hard just from the smell of Harry’s curls, and the boy’s moaning was not making it any better. The two were alone in the booth, as Zayn and Liam had gone on a drinks run, while Niall went to the toilet. Since Niall had gotten up, Harry had only been cuddling in closer to Louis, driving the older lad insane.

“I know they are, love, but you’re very drunk,” Louis responded after a moment.

“M’not drunk,” Harry murmured, sounding very drunk.

“You are.”

“No, m’not.”

“Yes, Harry, you are.”

Harry sighed into Louis’ neck, who shivered. “Fine, I am.” He wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, hugging the man to his chest.

“I think it’s time to head home, love.” Niall had driven them there, but all of them were to drunk to drive, so Louis thought for a moment. “Would you like to see my flat? It’s close by.”

Harry pulled away, staring at him in confusion. Louis almost whimpered at the loss. “Your flat? You still have a flat?”

Louis chuckled, still missing the other boy’s warmth. “Of course, babe. I know I haven’t been there for a while, but I still pay for it.”

“Why?” Harry sounded perplexed, as if he couldn’t imagine Louis living anywhere but with him. Louis’ heart pounded at the thought.

He couldn’t think of a decent answer to Harry’s question, though, so he answered, “I’m not sure.”

“You should get rid of it.” Louis’ heart jumped. “Live with me and Ni.”

The smaller boy swallowed the lump in his throat. “We’ll talk about it with Niall when we’re sober, alright?” The curly-haired boy grinned blearily at the older boy.

“M’kay. Let’s go, Lou, m’tired.”

“Alright, sweetcheeks. Lemme tell the boys,” Louis replied, patting Harry on the cheek as he slipped out of the booth. He sauntered away from Harry, scanning the bar for his friends. After a moment, he located Zayn’s tall hair, his boyfriend and Niall beside him.

“Lads, Harry’s exhausted. I’m gonna take him back to mine, it’s close by.” All three boys were giving him a Look. “You’re welcome to join of course,” he added.

“No thanks,” Niall started. “I’d rather not witness that.” He turned to Liam and Zayn. “Mind if I stay at yours tonight?”

“Sure,” the couple said in unison. Zayn continued, turning to Louis, “We’re close as well. Have Harry call me in the morning. And be good.”

Louis smacked him across the back of his head. He rolled his eyes and hugged the lads goodbye before walking back to the booth he had left Harry in.

“Alright, love. Time to go. We’ve got some walking to do,” he told the boy gently.

Harry groaned. “Carry me, Lou?”

“No, Haz, I don’t think I can. You can walk, c’mon.”

“I believe in you,” Harry mumbled, standing up. He reached his arms around Louis, pulling him into a hug and nuzzling his neck again. “You’re so strong. Smell good too.” The boy inhaled deeply, and Louis shivered.

“And you’re a cuddly drunk. At least walk out of the pub on your own, we’ll see how you do.”

Harry mumbled his distaste for the idea, but walked toward the door anyway. Louis placed a gentle, guiding hand on Harry’s lower back as the drunk boy stumbled his way through the crowd. As soon as they passed through the door of the pub, Harry collapsed on the sidewalk, refusing to walk any further.

So Louis carried him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, etc. I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think! All the love x N


	13. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Louis had to stop to breathe several times on the way home, Harry complaining about his exhaustion the whole time. The tall boy was clinging to Louis’ back, and his face hadn’t left the other man’s neck since he had first clambered on. Eventually, the shorter boy managed to make his way into the lobby of his apartment building, officially exhausted from carrying the tall, drunk man. He stumbled into the elevator, Harry still hanging off his back as he pressed the button for his floor.

“Harry, can you get off now? We just have a little bit to walk,” Louis said as he tried to set his friend down. Harry only shook his head against the back of Louis’ neck, refusing to de-cling from the small boy. Louis sighed, but didn’t protest as the elevator doors opened on his floor. He hitched Harry further up on his back as he walked to his flat door. “Alright, hold on tight, love. I’ve gotta unlock it,” Louis told the boy. Harry tightened his grip around his neck, snuggling his face against the older boy. Louis struggled to get his keys out of his pocket and into the lock, kicking the door open as he held Harry’s thighs. He staggered toward his sofa, gently unwrapping Harry’s arms from around his neck. “We’re here, love. Do you want the sofa or the bed?”

“Want to sleep with you,” Harry mumbled, fighting against Louis’ attempts to get the tall boy off of him. Louis smiled inwardly as Harry held him close.

“Okay,” Louis agreed. “Let’s get you in some comfier clothes. You’ve got to get off me now, babe.” Harry reluctantly released the shorter boy from his grip, still staying close by as Louis led him by the hand to the bedroom. The feathery-haired boy dug through his drawers to find Harry something he could fit in, pulling out some joggers that had always been a bit large on him, and an old t-shirt from uni. 

The curly-haired man stripped down to his pants immediately. Louis tried his best to avoid staring, but couldn’t help himself. Harry was gorgeous. He was toned, but not so muscled that it was almost disgusting (Louis hated body-builder types), and he was still soft. He had a few tattoos littering his chest. One that caught Louis’ eye was a big butterfly right on his abdomen. It was so  _ Harry  _ that it almost made the older lad grin out of adoration. Delicate, but beautiful and smart. 

Louis was far too disappointed when Harry eventually pulled the shirt over his head, hiding his body. He wasn’t disappointed for long, as he watched the boy move around in  _ his  _ clothes. The way the joggers were just a bit too short, and the shirt was just slightly too tight made any longing to see his body move to the backburner. Seeing Harry in his clothes made up for it. 

Louis gently guided a fully-dressed Harry to the bed, and the boy climbed under the duvet excitedly. He held his arms out for Louis, begging the other boy to join him.

“One moment, love. I’ve got to change quick. Just go to sleep, I’ll be back soon.” Harry did not go to sleep, but whined until Louis had changed into his own joggers and t-shirt and crawled under the sheets beside him.

As soon as Louis’ arms wrapped around his waist, Harry was asleep.

***

When Harry woke the next morning, he woke to the smell of home, and he felt something poking into his lower back. He knew exactly  _ what  _ it was, but had no idea  _ who  _ it was, so naturally, Harry began to panic silently. He wriggled out of the embrace of the mystery man, turning around to discover that the mystery man was Louis. He also noted that both of them were fully clothed. Harry relaxed immediately at the knowledge that it was Louis, his safe, wonderful friend, and they hadn’t had sex. But there  _ was  _ the matter of Louis’ boner that was currently pressing into Harry’s thigh.

“Umm…” He poked Louis’ face, trying to gently wake him. “Louiiiiis. Get up? Please?” He poked harder.

Louis groaned. “What time is it?” Harry looked for a clock, finding one on the bedside table. 

“Seven forty-five.” Louis groaned again and smacked Harry lightly in the face. 

“Why the fuck are you awake? Go back to sleep.” Harry giggled.    
“No. I’m up, and so are you, so let’s do something. Um. After you fix your. Um. Problem,” he stuttered.

Louis’ eyes opened suddenly, his head jerking down toward his crotch to examine said problem. 

“Oh, god. Sorry, Haz,” he said, embarrassed.

“It’s okay. S’normal,” Harry replied lightly, a bit less uncomfortable now that Louis was awake and apologizing. 

Louis rose from the bed, trying to hide his crotch from Harry’s view. “I’m just gonna. Um. Yeah,” he stammered, walking to the toilet. 

The curly-haired boy flushed at the idea of what his friend was about to do, so he got out of bed and wandered out to the kitchen to see if he could make the two of them some breakfast. 

Louis groaned quietly as he looked down at his erection, contemplating whether to take a cold shower, or just pull one out. His cock throbbed, and he chose the more pleasant option, palming at his pants. He pulled down his joggers, pressing his palm down on his boxers. He moaned, trying to keep quiet, aware that Harry was close by.  _ Harry. _ Beautiful, adorable, incredibly sexy Harry. Louis pictured the boy, his long, curly hair, his bright green eyes, the beautiful body that belonged to the beautiful man. He guiltily pulled his cock out, lightly teasing the length with his fingers. He thought of Harry’s stomach, his chest, his tattoos as he grasped his cock. As Louis began to stroke up and down, applying just the right amount of pressure, moaning in ecstasy as he continued picturing the boy in the next room. Pressure began building in the pit of his stomach as he thought of Harry’s laugh, his smile, his eyes when he’s happy, and Louis came to the thought of a cheerful Harry Styles. 

Meanwhile, Harry was digging through Louis’ empty cupboards, searching for anything that could be turned into breakfast. After several minutes of searching, he came up with nothing, so he sat at the breakfast bar, frustrated. As he waited for his friend, he heard something that sounded suspiciously like a moan, and he flushed, remembering what he was waiting for Louis to do. After a moment, Harry heard what was  _ definitely  _ a moan. Harry’s own cock jumped at the noise, so he quickly hopped up to pretend to search the kitchen again. 

When Louis came out from the toilet, boner-free and relaxed, Harry was still pretending to look for food, blushing furiously. “What are you looking for?” Louis asked. Harry froze, then turned slowly to look at Louis, a sheepish smile on his flushed face. 

“Um. I was going to make breakfast. But you don’t have any food.” 

“Yeah, I haven’t been around. I’ve been staying with you and Niall for a while now. I should probably buy food if I’m going to actually be here again,” Louis murmured, a frown marring his sharp features.

“No!” Harry exclaimed suddenly. He slapped a hand over his mouth, horrified. “Uh, I mean. I kinda like having you around. Maybe you could. Um. Live with us?” He was blushing even harder, if that were possible. Louis looked at him in surprise. 

“You want me to move in with you? Into a two bedroom flat? With you and Niall?” He was amused, but flattered.

“Oh.” Harry wanted to slap himself for being so stupid. “Yeah, uh, I guess I didn’t think of that. Nevermind, I guess.” 

“I mean, Haz, I would love to move in with you and Ni, but I don’t think it’s possible. In fact, I should probably actually start living here again,” Louis said, regret lacing his voice. Harry kind of wanted to cry. Louis was the light of Harry’s life these days. He was always so optimistic, and held Harry when he cried, and he made Harry smile. Louis must have noticed Harry’s eyes filling with tears, so he hurriedly said, “Of course, I’ll hang out with you whenever I can. I’ll see you almost as much, I just should live in the flat I’m paying for. I promise we’ll see each other all the time.” He pulled Harry into a tight embrace just as salty tears began to stream down the curly-haired boy’s face. “I promise, baby. It’s okay, don’t cry, love.” Louis gently stroked the sobbing boy’s hair, soothing him.

Harry felt ridiculous for his crying, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t lose Louis. 

“I’m s-sorry,” Harry sobbed, “I just-- I can’t--”

“You don’t have to tell me why you’re crying, baby. I understand,” Louis assured gently.

“You don’t,” the younger boy cried. “You don’t understand. I just-- I’ve lost so much. I can’t lose you too.” 

Louis’ hand froze in Harry’s hair. He pulled the boy closer to him and whispered into his ear. “I’m not going anywhere, love. I promise. I don’t want to lose you either. You mean so much to me, Harry.  _ So  _ much.” 

Harry pulled away from the embrace, just enough to look into the blue eyes following him. Louis’ eyes were filled with fondness, and what looked like it could be… love? 

Harry’s tears stopped flowing, and the two stared into each others’ eyes for several moments. Louis never wavered in his gaze, the fondness never left, and he radiated confidence. The next thing Harry knew, he was leaning in toward the shorter boy. He placed his hands on Louis’ cheeks, holding his head in place as he leaned down to kiss him for the first time. 

When their lips touched, something ignited in both of them, and Louis was kissing Harry back fiercely, with passion laced in every swipe of his tongue, every nip at his lip. The two kissed, standing in Louis’ unused kitchen, holding each other as tight as they could, praying silently that the moment would never end.

It ended when Louis let out a quiet moan. At the sound, Harry panicked, pulling away quickly. Louis’ lips tingled at the memory of the boy’s lips on his own, but his heart sank at the look on Harry’s face. His eyes looked fearful, deeply saddened. He looked as though he had made a fatal error, and he regretted everything. 

“I-- I’m so sorry, Lou. I’ll-- I’ll go now.” And before Louis could respond, pull him back, Harry was out the door, running away from him again. 

Louis sank to the floor, staring blankly at the spot where Harry had been only moments before, and he cried. Harry couldn’t love him. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. 

Louis had never felt so helpless as he did at that moment, desperate for as much as a look the boy who had just left him, standing alone in his kitchen. When he managed to pull himself together, over an hour later, he began to search for the number of his old therapist, hopeful that he could find some way to help the man he had fallen in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think made Harry freak out? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Thank you all so much for reading, leaving kudos, commenting, etc. I really, really appreciate all of the support this fic has been getting. This is my first ever long fic that I've ever really dedicated to, and it's amazing to see how well it's doing. You have exceeded my expectations incredibly, as I only expected to get maybe a few readers, so thank you again!   
> Also, since the holidays are coming up, I'm about to get out of my classes and go home for a month, so I'm afraid the uploads will slow down a bit more, just because I want to visit with family. I'll still upload as often as I can, but I'll have less time to write in general, so please don't get upset if it takes a little while.


	14. Kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and I'm sorry! I feel like such a liar! I told you I would upload while I was on winter break and I totally didn't! I was trying to write on my phone over the break, but it's so much more difficult for me to write on that. I can't concentrate. I just got back to school today, and I wrote this chapter just for you! It's a little short, but please enjoy!

Louis always keeps his promises. It’s something he prides himself on, and he doesn’t plan to start breaking them now. That’s why, the very next day, he’s driving over to Harry and Niall’s flat to talk to the curly-haired boy. It was bound to be awkward, but Louis planned on doing his very best to stop that from happening. He had the phone number for a therapist his old psychologist had recommended saved in his phone to give to Harry, and that was his ice breaker. He was going to walk in there and hand over the number to a therapist to the man he was in love with, and then force Harry to talk to him.

He was nervous, despite his false confidence, as he drove to the flat. He couldn’t be sure how Harry would react to the idea of seeing a psychologist. The last time Louis had brought it up, the other boy hadn’t responded to it at all. The two of them had been lying in bed together as Harry cried his eyes out. It felt like years had passed, though in reality it had only been a few days.

That was a thought that startled him on occasion: he and Harry had only known each other for just under two months. Not counting the time they met briefly in the hospital, anyway. It felt like so much longer to Louis; it was certainly enough time for him to fall in love.

Louis pulled up to the flat, anxiously parking his car. He sat in the driver’s seat for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to go inside. He buried his face in his hand, trying his best to remember everything he had decided to tell Harry.

_Number one priority is to get him to see a therapist. Your feelings aren’t important right now, Tommo. He needs to heal._

He nodded to himself, climbing out of the car. As he made his way to the front door, it was pulled open by the very man he was there to see. Harry froze when he saw Louis, clearly not expecting to see him after what had happened yesterday. The poor lad looked like a deer in headlights, and he was obviously debating whether to continue on his way or to run back into the flat and hide. After a few moments, Harry still wasn’t moving, so Louis approached him carefully.

“Haz?” he started gently. “Can we talk?” Harry stared at him, fear in his eyes. He fish-mouthed for a minute, trying to come up with a somewhat appropriate response. Eventually, he seemed to regain the ability to move, nodding stiffly. He turned on his heel to face the door, expecting for Louis to follow.

When he walked through the door, Louis found Niall sitting on the couch, a family sized bag of crisps in his lap, looking at him confusedly. When the blonde glanced to Harry, Louis witnessed a silent conversation between the two. Without a word, Niall stood up and walked out of the room. The curly-haired boy took the spot Niall had just vacated, staring expectantly at Louis, fear still in his eyes.

“Erm,” he started nervously. Harry scoffed and patted the couch next to him.

“Oh, come on Lou. I know you want to talk about the kiss,” he said as Louis sat beside him.

“Erm, yeah,” Louis replied. “About that—“

“I’m so sorry, Lou. I don’t know what came over me. I know it’s not what you wanted, and I really regret it.” Harry’s eyes were wide with sincerity and fear. “Please don’t be mad at me,” he begged the older man.

Louis gazed at him, startled. How could he ever _not_ want to kiss Harry? He decided to disregard the comment, stating, “I could never be mad at you for something like that, Harry. But that’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about. I mean- it kind of is, but it’s not really the main theme of the-”

“Lou, please just say whatever you want to say.” Harry cut him off, rolling his eyes fondly.

“I think you should see a therapist.” The curly-haired boy’s face fell into confusion, his brow furrowing as he stared at Louis. The smaller man was returning Harry’s gaze with determination in his eyes.

Harry was silent for several moments before he spoke. “Why?”

“You need help, Haz. You have a lot of issues you need to sort through after what happened with Nick, and whatever happened that put you in the hospital. I don’t know what happened that night, but I remember seeing you for the first time in a hospital bed, writhing in pain because someone clearly beat the shit out of you. I accept that you aren’t comfortable talking to me about that yet, but you need to talk to someone. I brought you the number of a psychologist my old shrink recommended for you. I can’t promise they’ll be perfect for you because I didn’t know the full story to find someone to treat you, but I asked for someone who could help with cheaters. Please, Harry. Please see this psychologist. You need help.” Louis finished his speech with a sigh. Harry was looking at him, shock written all over his face, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. His gaze dropped to his shoes as Louis continued to watch him.

“L-Lou-” he sniffled, tears beginning to fall. Louis stood and approached the boy where he sat on the sofa. He crouched beside his friend, the man he had fallen for too quickly, and rubbed his knee.

“Hazza, I’ve been where you are. I know how it feels to question everything you do or think. To hate yourself. I was in a dark place for a while, but I saw a psychologist. I’m so happy now, Haz, and I just want you to be happy too.” The green-eyed boy looked up at that, locking his eyes with Louis.’ When Harry spoke, his voice was more confident than the older boy had heard from him since they met.

“You make me happy, Louis.”

***

Louis woke to the smell of breakfast. That was new. Had he gone home to see his mum and forgotten? No, that’s not what mum’s breakfast usually smells like, and this wasn’t his childhood bedroom. He shot straight up as he remembered what had happened the night before.

He had been comforting Harry all day, trying to get the boy to agree to see a therapist. When he finally gave in, Louis had held him close, whispering praises in his ear.

“Stay?” Harry had whispered into Louis’ shoulder.

“Always.” Louis had pressed a gentle kiss against the boy’s temple and dragged him to the bedroom, where the two fell straight to sleep, wrapped tightly around each other.

Louis stood up from Harry’s bed, realizing that he was still wearing his skinny jeans from the day before. He grimaced at the feeling, immediately stripping down to his pants. Once he was comfortable, he padded out of the room, following his nose to the kitchen. There, he found Harry, clad only in yoga pants and a pink apron, flipping a pancake.

Louis had always been one to seize the moment, so he took this one as an opportunity to stare longingly at Harry’s naked, muscled back. He was knocked out of his staring when a sleepy Niall smacked him across the head, smirking knowingly as Louis rubbed the back of his neck, abashed. Harry turned around, startling at the sound. He grinned widely at the two boys, who were bantering lightly as they made their way to two of the breakfast bar stools.

“What the fuck are yeh doin’ here anyway, Lou? I thought you were gonna stay at yer place now,” Niall asked him, accent thick from the early hour. Louis locked his gaze on the tall, apron-clad boy again, smiling fondly as he messed with something on the stove with a flourish.

“Just… missed it here I guess.”

“Didn’t see you on the couch, where’d you sleep?” the Irish boy asked with a smirk.

“With me,” Harry interjected. “Leave him alone, Niall. Nothing happened.”

“Uh-huh. I’ll believe that when I see it, have video and audio evidence, and a witness.”

“Seriously, Ni. Drop it,” the tall boy warned. Louis watched the exchange, confused. Niall remained silent, only grinning, clearly proud of himself. Though, what he was proud _for_ , Louis had no idea.

The silence remained as Harry finished up making breakfast. As he passed Niall a plate, he scowled, to which the Irish boy responded with a cheerful smile. When Harry handed Louis his plate, he smiled warmly down at the boy. Louis took note that his own plate had significantly more food on it than Niall’s. He had trouble holding back a laugh when Harry dumped the remainder of the food on his own plate, obviously to spite Niall and his appetite. The three turned to their food, never speaking. Harry was the one to finally break the quiet that had engulfed the group throughout the meal.

“I’m going to see a therapist,” he stated bluntly. Louis smiled proudly, surprised that the boy had decided to tell Niall so soon after agreeing to Louis’ proposal.

The Irish lad stared in shock. “Uhh… I guess that’s a good idea, Haz. When did you decide this?”

“Yesterday. Louis asked me to, so I’m going to. I think it might be good for me.”

“Okay. Good. Are you going to talk about Nick? Or is it about Sha-” Harry seemed to panic slightly when the boy began to ask questions.

“Niall.” Louis surprised even himself by speaking. “Harry doesn’t need to tell you what he’s going to therapy for. That’s his business.” Niall looked surprised, but nodded slowly, returning to his breakfast.

Harry smiled at Louis from beside him, squeezing his thigh lightly in thanks.

Louis could only smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! I'm so happy to be back and writing again, so please leave a kudos and a comment if you can, I love to hear your thoughts! Also, thank you so much for over a hundred kudos! I can't believe that, it's amazing! Thank you so much for reading, All the love x N


	15. Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... Hi. Sorry it's been a while again, but I'm a busy, broke college student :)   
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! You know that tag that you started reading this fic for? The one that starts with "daddy" and ends with "Kink"? Yeah that starts in this chapter. Sooooo... the weather?  
> Enjoy!

Harry was nervous. Terrified, he would say if he didn’t have Louis sitting beside him, radiating his calming confidence. Somehow, just the boy’s presence made him feel infinitely better. But his nerves still caught up to him. He didn’t notice that his hands were shaking until the other boy took them in his own, holding them gently. 

“Hey,” Louis started, “Harry, look at me.” He pulled the tall boy’s chin, forcing him to look him in the eye. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” The two boys gazed into each others’ eyes, wide, worried green meeting calm, ocean blue. “I’ll be right out here, and if you don’t like her, we can find someone else. You have nothing to worry about, I swear.”

“Harry,” the secretary called. The boy’s head whipped around to stare at her. “Doctor Steel will see you now.” He nodded at her nervously, then stood shakily. Louis grabbed his wrist to stop him for a moment. The smaller boy smiled gently up at Harry, giving the man the courage to collect himself and walk into the doctor’s office.

***

When he stepped inside the room where his first therapy session was to be held, Harry immediately missed Louis. He was no longer calm, but the thought of the other man only one room away helped. He took a deep breath and took in his surroundings. The walls were painted a deep green, with art from many different periods and styles scattered about. There were two brown, leather couches, along with a chair to match. In the chair sat a woman, who spoke when Harry locked his gaze on her.

“Hello, Harry. My name is Doctor Steel, but you can call me Katrina if you would prefer.” The woman, his new therapist, was young, in her early thirties perhaps, with long brown hair held back in a bun. “Please sit down,” she continued. Harry complied slowly, perching himself on the edge of the closer sofa. “I would like to start this first session with you telling me a bit about yourself. Only what you’re comfortable with of course.” 

Harry stayed silent, not sure where to start. “If you would like, I could ask questions?” Doctor Steel asked gently. Harry nodded, gazing down at his shaking hands. “Alright, what do you do for a living?” 

Harry’s voice was unsteady as he responded. “I used to work at a law firm, as an assistant. I’m not working right now, um--” 

Katrina must have noticed how uncomfortable he was with the question, so she cut him off with a new one. “Is there someone waiting for you outside? A friend, girlfriend, boyfriend?” 

_ Louis. _ Harry could talk about Louis. “Yeah, one of my best friends, Louis. He’s the one who made me come talk to you.”

“Tell me about him,” the doctor pressed.

“Louis is wonderful,” Harry started. “He’s kind, and smart, and gentle, and he takes care of me. He really cares about me being healthy, and he doesn’t even know the full story of what happened to me--” he stopped abruptly. He didn’t want to talk about Shane. No.  _ No. _

“What did happen to you, Harry?” He shook his head.  _ No. _ “Okay, we won’t talk about it today. But, Harry, we will have to talk about it eventually, alright?” He stayed quiet, contemplating. Of course, he knew that when he agreed to come talk to a therapist. 

_ Yes. _ “I want to talk about it today.”

***

Louis was making futile attempts to distract himself. Unfortunately, all the Angry Birds and Candy Crush in the world was not enough to take his mind off of the boy in the next room. His leg had been bouncing up and down anxiously for almost an hour now, and Harry’s session had to be ending soon. He had put up a calm front for the other boy’s sake when he had been there, but just between Louis and the secretary, he was kind of panicking. 

He let out a frustrated groan as he glanced at the clock once again, earning an amused glare from the secretary. “He should be out in a few minutes,” she said with a smirk. That only earned her a stiff nod and some more leg bouncing from the small man. Louis turned back to his phone, flinging some more birds at pigs. After what felt like years, the office door opened, and he heard Harry’s voice, thanking the doctor politely. Within seconds, Louis was on his feet, striding quickly toward the tall boy.

“Are you alright? Was it okay? Are you okay?” He inspected the boy’s face, noticing traces of tear tracks. His brow furrowed, worried. “Have you been crying?” Louis glared at the closed door.

Harry managed a small smile of amusement, but moved to reassure the smaller boy. “It’s okay, Lou. I’m fine. I like her. I’m going to keep coming to talk to her. I feel a little better already, I think.” Louis nodded, lifting his hands to pull at Harry’s long curls. He gently tugged the tall boy down to his level, rising up on his tiptoes so he could place a light kiss on the man’s forehead. Harry flushed, smiling widely at the other man as he took his hand in his own, walking toward the door. 

***

Louis had just dropped Harry off at his flat, then drove away, telling Harry to “think over his session alone.” Harry didn’t want to be alone, he wanted to be with Louis. But he supposed the older boy was right, despite his own wants. As he sat upon the sofa, his thoughts drifted to the therapy session.

_ I have a bit of a homework assignment for you,  _ Katrina had said before he left.  _ I want you to tell Louis what you told me. I want you to tell him about Shane. About everything. It doesn’t have to be this week, but let’s say… by the end of the month.  _

_ Why?  _ Harry had asked, panicked.  _ I don’t want him to… _

_ To what, Harry? _

_ To think differently of me. Or hate me.  _

Katrina had sighed.  _ From what you have told me about your friend, there is no way he could ever think differently of you for something like that. He cares about you greatly, and I do not believe anything could change that. And I believe that telling him will be good for you. Do you not think he deserves to know? _

_ I do, but… _

_ Harry. I promise you, it will be okay. Louis clearly adores you. No matter what has been done to you. I can tell that just from the way you talk about him.  _

_ I… okay. _

Harry had no idea how he could manage to get the courage to tell Louis about Shane. It’s not that he had exactly been  _ hiding _ it per se, but he hadn’t been entirely forthcoming either. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind as the door to the flat opened, revealing a disheveled Niall. 

“Hey, mate,” the Irish boy slurred. “How was the therapy?”

“Fine. Are you drunk? Niall, its three p.m,” Harry scolded. 

“Met up with Zayn and Liam. They had Fireball and Guinness,” Niall replied cheerily.

“You didn’t drive yourself, did you? I swear if those two let you drive--”

“Nah, caught a cab. M’gonna sleep now.” With that, the boy fell into Harry’s lap, asleep the moment his head hit the couch. Harry snickered at the sight, pulling out his phone to snap a picture. He decided to send it to Louis, wanting an excuse to talk to the other boy.

_ Help,  _ Harry typed, attaching the image of Niall sprawled in his lap. 

Within minutes, Louis sent a response.  _ You’re welcome to come to mine and do that to me.  _ Harry flushed, a fond smile spreading across his face. 

_ If I can get Niall off of me, I would love to. _

_ Aww, does little Harold need a knight in Adidas armour?? ;) _

_ Yeeeeesss:) save me, daddy :( _

Harry’s eyes widened as he realized what he had just typed. It was too late. The text was sent, and within seconds a read receipt told him that Louis had read it.

***

“Fuck.”

_ “Save me, daddy” _ was written across his phone screen, causing a twitch in Louis’ pants.  _ Oh, god, _ the thought of Harry Styles calling him  _ daddy  _ was going to drive him insane. He pressed a palm down on his aching bulge, seriously considering jacking off to the idea, along with the word typed on his screen. He needed to respond to the text before he could do anything, as he had already opened it.

_ You would like that, wouldn’t you, baby? _

He barely managed to hit the send button before his hand was down his pants, firmly grasping his cock to images of Harry Styles sucking his cock and calling him daddy.

***

“Fuck.”

_ Baby.  _ Louis called him  _ baby.  _ Harry eagerly shoved Niall off his lap before he could wake up from the hardness in his trousers. He walked quickly to his bedroom, stripping down to his pants and throwing himself down on the bed, images of Louis flashing through his mind. Louis running his hands through Harry’s hair. Louis touching him. Louis holding him down as he fucked his throat. Harry pulled down his last bit of clothing, rifling through the drawer beside his bed to find his lube. He stroked his cock teasingly, spreading lube on his fingers of his other hand as he went. His lubed hand wandered slowly down to his hole as the other moved up to his nipples, pinching and teasing as he whimpered. Harry stroked a finger around his entrance, dipping in occasionally, just to tempt himself, to tease himself further. 

“Louis…” he moaned as he pushed his finger into himself as far as he could, fucking slowly in and out. “Daddy… please…” He added a finger, speeding up his fingerfucking, writhing on the sheets, pinching his hardened nipples. Harry scissored his fingers, pulling out more moans for his daddy, for Louis. His body tensed as his orgasm rushed over him.

“Daddy!”

***

“Fuck, baby,” Louis moaned as precum dripped out of his cock, which he was pumping furiously. He felt his orgasm creeping up on him, and so he ran his hand over his dick even faster. “Harry… Haz, fuck, baby,” he shouted as his high hit him harder than ever before, streams of come spurting from his cock. His breathing slowed, and he whispered Harry’s name, wishing his baby could have come with him. But Harry wasn’t his baby. As much as Louis wanted him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. Tell me your thoughts, let me know of any mistakes. I don't have a beta, so if I was inconsistent on anything, I apologize, and please tell me. I'll do my best to fix it. Please comment, leave a kudos if you can, you guys know by now how much I appreciate your input! (Seriously, some comments have changed the direction of the story a little bit, so I do actually take your thoughts into consideration.) Feel free to ask me questions, I respond fairly quickly. They can be about the story, or about me, whatever you would like! Thank you all so much for reading, All the love x N

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a bit angsty, and wonderfully fluffy later on, but I hope you like it so far. Please comment, and leave a kudos to let me know if you enjoyed! I love feedback, whether it's positive or negative (just keep it kind). Also, follow me on Twitter! @alreadyanauthor


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